6 Tips for Getting Ahead (Faster) in Your Career

"Professor Belle" spending time with future leaders at the WEEN Academy.

“Professor Belle” spending time with future leaders at the WEEN Academy.

Seven years ago, I was invited to a rooftop soirée, an industry- only event for women. It was a Who’s Who of industry professionals. I knew their names and faces. They didn’t know mine.

A friend and her friends were annoyed by the prevailing idea of women in “the industry.” They were the types that went on speaking tours in high schools and colleges. One, the HNIC of an organization, would give her speil about working her way from intern to, well, HNIC, and when it was time for Q&A would be asked, “are you a groupie?”

It wasn’t personal. It’s that the young women only saw women in entertainment that looked like  them in two ways: groupie or video chick. Maybe rapper. That’s it. They didn’t know about all the behind the scenes women, the ones who make decisions and quietly run things, but don’t get the shine like the people out front.

The women in attendance on the rooftop were once young girls who were interested in entertainment and they figured it out without the benefit of an organization. And  unless they wanted the doors they banged open to close behind them, it was time to start recruiting and helping. This, more or less, was how WEEN— the Women in Entertainment Empowerment Network— was born.

I was in the room because I knew somebody important– a WEEN founder. I had written for magazines for years, but nothing groundbreaking. I was still trying to get on somebody’s masthead. I was a book editor, editing romance novels at Harlequin, which sounds more glam than it is, if it sounds glam at all. I’d just started blogging on MySpace. People I didn’t know had started reading and commenting, so I was expanding.

After the conversation and the name-picking (cause you know women have to vote on everything), it was time for mingling. I made a beeline for the editors. My bestie, Penelope (who doesn’t work in entertainment), made a beeline for the bar. It was there she met the EIC of HoneyMag.com.

Penelope brought her over to me where I was sulking after being not so politely dismissed by an editor. “D, this is [HNIC],” Penelope began. “D’s a great writer. She can write anything.” That was her alley oop. She walked off, leaving me to dunk.

“What was the last thing you wrote?” the EIC asked.

“Um, I have a blog. On MySpace. I wrote about this date I went on and…” I explained, trying to sound confident, but nervous as hell.

“You write about dating?” she asked.

“Yeah. It’s kind of like Sex in the City,  but like about me, a Black girl. In Brooklyn. It’s starting to pick up traction. I think it might be great for Honey. I can send you the link,” I said as I fished around in my purse for for a business card.

I was so busy looking for a card that I almost missed the good part.

“It sounds great. Send me your next post. We can run it on Honey.”


She started to repeat herself and I interrupted to be clear. “You want to run it on Honey?!”

She thrust her card out. “Yeah. Email me here when you have another post. We’ll see how it goes.”

Oh. Ok.

“And send me the name of your blog and a picture to go with it when you submit.”

Oh. Um, Ok.
I tell you this whole backstory for a reason. If I didn’t have that friend,  I never would have been at that rooftop party. And if I was never at the rooftop party, I wouldn’t have met the EIC at Honey. And if I hadn’t met her, there might not have been A Belle in Brooklyn. I didn’t even have a name for my blog when I met her. I was just writing because I had ideas in my head and my pitches weren’t being accepted regularly. She was the one who made me focus.

And because there is A Belle in the Brooklyn, the blog, the book, potentially the scripted TV show, anytime WEEN calls and says, “hey, D, come speak to the girls at the WEEN Academy,” I figure out time to go speak to the girls.

So that’s what I did Tuesday (my third year speaking to them)  alongside my publicist and friend Christina Rice from Luxe Life Media.  About twenty young women packed themselves around her conference room table and we d told them our “how we did it” stories from Junior year of college on.

Christina & I share our "How We Did It" stories at the WEEN Academy.

Christina & I share our “How We Did It” stories at the WEEN Academy.


I’d tell you those in depth, but 1) this post is already long; and 2) I’ve told mine a million and one times on here. (If you want the most recent re-telling, it’s here.)

So we tell our stories and to make sure the young women take something from it other than, “ok, story time”, I ask each of them to tell me what they took away.

Here are the top 6 (with explanation):

1. Apply Yourself
If you’re moderately competent, you perform better than most of the people in your desired field. And you can coast by and maintain doing little to nothing. If you want to be the best at what you do, go after what you want. Don’t wait for it come to you.

When I was a junior in college, I wrote a paper after I got home from the club. I just forgot about the thing. I stayed up all night and pounded it out. A couple weeks later, my professor reads this intro paragraph to the class, and I’m sitting there thinking, “if I could write like that, I’d be a writer.” Turns out, it was my paper. I switched my major and actually decided to apply myself to writing because maybe of I tried, I could make something decent of myself.

2. Research
Christina owned a clothing store when she was 22. She had some coin stacked from her job in promotions and events and felt like opening a store. So she got a bunch of books on how to do it, and voila. Just like that. At 23, she moved to a bigger space with 3-levels. Who does that? Christina.

Christina later decided she might want to be a publicist since she had a lot of connects. She read up on the job extensively, pitched herself accordingly and her first gig was the North American PR dIrector for a luxury French brand. Boom!

3. Build Relationships, then Build on Them
Christina and I both got to where we are by building on what we’ve done previously. I’m a pretty good public speaker because my first job was giving presentations around New York City about how citizens should interact with the police. My first job as an editor was because two years prior I’d gone on an informational interview and made a good impression on a publisher. When I was ready to publish a book in 2010, I got fast-tracked because I worked in publishing from 2003-2007 and had contacts. See? building.

In Christina’s case, she took those editorial contacts from the French brand with her to her next PR gig (see below).

4. Be Confident (and Graceful Under Fire)
Christina was 20 minutes late for a big PR interview that a friend had recommended her for. She was meeting with the CEO. When she walked in, he told her he wouldn’t hire her because she was late, but would hear her out. “Why should I hire  you?” he asked. Her answer? “Because I’m the best.” She got the job.

5. Fill the Void
Every lane is supersaturated. And yet, you still find yourself wondering, “why is there…?” Or “why doesn’t anyone…?” That’s where you come in. If you’re wondering, lots of other people are too. Take the initiative and put them out of their misery.

I started my blog in 2007 because no one was saying what I wanted to hear. No one was telling the stories of growing through a quarter life crisis while Black (or any other color) that I wanted to watch/read. I complained and complained and finally someone said to me, “why don’t you just write it then? I mean, you’re a writer.” So I started writing.

6. Go on Informational Interviews
It’s not a job interview. You’re going to pick someone’s brain about what they do, how they do it. AND who they think you should meet in your field that would be helpful. You’ll get passed around the inner circle and someone will eventually have a job opening. Hopefully, they hire you. If not, you still have great connections at the top of your field. That will pay off in the long run.
Bonus: Date (Actually) Nice Guys
This isn’t one that we discussed, but toward the end of the session, we were asked for closing thoughts, ie, all the things you wish someone had told you. As a dating coach, I had to weigh in with advice.

The guys you date can have a profound effect on your career. An unsupportive BF who doesn’t get what you do or respect your work is a distraction you don’t need. So is the guy who wants you to dim your light so his can shine brighter. What you want is a partner who sees the best in you and says “you can do it” when you’re frustrated, and understands when you have to put in the extra hours. It’s hard to find them, but they do exist. You’ll get further and faster if you have a supportive partner, or you’re single.

What advice would you give to young women 20-25?

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This Post Has 13 Comments

  1. Janet says:

    This was great advice! I think it doesn’t just apply to that age group, because I know a lot of women who still need to hear this every once in awhile.

    Thanks as always!

  2. About number 6 –Is this still appropriate? It seems as if people these days are offended by up-and-comers asking to pick their brains. I see a lot of “I’m not going to give away valuable information for free!” Or something to that effect.

    • belle says:

      Still appropriate. I, and many others that I know, meet with people all the time. You just gotta ask the right way and have something to your hustle going in.

      In addition, I do it with people ahead of me also. I’m good for asking someone for a coffee date/ lunch to pick their brain. Everyone doesn’t say yes. A few do. That’s all I/you need.

  3. Sonya says:

    Great post today how does one go about asking a stranger for an informational interview? We are connected on social media but never met. Through a few degrees of separation I think we have a connection or two

  4. CWeaver says:

    Disappoints can lead to better opportunities. The last two jobs I’ve had, I didn’t get on the first shot, the opportunities went to other candidates. In both incidents, I stayed in touch and continued to meet (network with) other managers and executives within the organization, and in both instances both employers eventually hired me for different positions with either more visibility, and/or more opportunity (money). Just because someone says, NO, it doesn’t mean no forever. To me it means, no for right now. Hope this helps. Love what you do B!

  5. Clara says:

    I agree with everything on this list. Also,something you say all the time. Have an alternate source of income. I made a career transition and it did not work out as well as I had hoped. That money on the side kept my lights on.

  6. PeachySun says:

    What was your major before you changed it?

  7. Dee says:

    My advice for 20-25? Read this post before you hit 27 😉

  8. I would say definitely remain authentic. I think that in the world of social media, in addition to seeing over saturated markets, we see what other people are doing and think that imitating it will garner success. I guess what I would tell my 20-25 year old self or someone else is just to remain true to your own voice and authenticity while getting ahead, because that will make you stand out.

  9. One piece of advice I would give to my peers (I’m 26 and barely out of that age bracket) is not to forget about self. When I started working, I would always come across a woman who should be gearing up for retirement, but was instead working for minimum wage and an entry level salary just as I was. Why? Because when she was in her early twenties, she got married, dropped out of college and stayed home to care for her family. Very notable. They all have said, however, that they did it because they wanted to make sure their kids came from a loving family, and that they thought their husband would do the same. They had little to no work experience, often didn’t go or finish college, and now were divorced. I’ve heard too many stories of women putting their personal dreams on hold and were left starting from the bottom and being middle aged while doing so. They were coping being single with children, no credit, and very little assets because their ex-husbands controlled everything.

    I just want every young woman to know it is ok to have dreams. It is ok to want to travel, start that small business, get that additional degree. Yes, sacrifices will have to be made, but yourself doesn’t have to be one of them.

  10. Shimeka says:

    I would tell to “Create the life that you want and not the life you think you deserve.” ~Shimekism

    That is the mantra that I have been meditating on for the past few days. Oftentimes, we run into obstacles and give up in defeat. If the plan to achieve your goals did not work out as you envisioned, create a plan B. It may take you longer to get there, but you will still get there.

  11. Wrayna says:

    Well the website, isn’t an actual website, I just felt the need to fill the space. I feel like I’ve been giving relationship advice since middle school. I was more of your tom boy and wasn’t interested in boys growing up. [Or girls] Dating just wasn’t for me. So why get advice from someone who didn’t date? I would ask myself every time I’m sitting on the line with my best friend sobbing on the other line. When I got older, I realized that I was just honest, and though I didn’t date, I payed attention to other peoples issues. [I practically lived in everyone relationship seeing everyone – guys and girls- came to me first.] The sum of most of my conversations is “there’s such thing as good selfishness”. That being, its okay to leave because your not happy, and its okay to try to work things out with someones that’s made a mistake because that person makes you happy. Be about your happiness. If you wake up in the morning and realize someone isn’t healthy for your internal happiness, then its okay to leave that morning. Do let them know, and you don’t have to be a a-hole about it, but its your life and your time. At the same time, if your unhappy with someone, the longer you string them along, the worse it will hurt them or you.

    We live in an error of social media. (I’m 24 by the way). If you ask me, I hate it. I’m so old school. I’m not saying you cant find love in “The Gram (Instagram)” or “The Book (Facebook)” but as humans, the moment we see someone, we automatically, sub conscientiously start making assumptions. Even if we don’t speak on them, let admit it, we do. While scrolling through all 15,000 photos of someone, we start making assumptions. Or we read about their interest and get to know them through their post. So when you finally get there number and have a phone conversation with someone, or finally agree to meet up, its somewhat, well boring, that is if you genuinely want to get to know someone. For instance, I’m on the phone with someone pretending to be surprised by his interest and hobbies, when really I already knew. Or in some instances, based on some of the assumptions you’ve made about him while browsing through his facebook one last time before the date, (they probably did too) you may sub-conscientiously mutate who you as to be more likeable by them. I can break this down more but I didn’t want to go too deep in just a comment field.

    I guess what I’m trying to say is don’t be scared to go in somewhat blind. The art of getting to know someone is beautiful, don’t spoil it for yourself. By all means, be happy. If they make you feel happy, be with them. If they take away from your happiness, leave. Live and learn.

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