Essence: Are You Comfy Earning More Than Your Man?
Thursday, January 19, 2012 at 3:32AM Over the weekend I read a Businessweek story, “Behind Every Great Woman,” about the rise of stay-at-home fathers. Apparently, the number of men in the U.S. who regularly care for children under age 5 increased to 32 percent in 2010 – up from 19 percent in 1988, according to Census figures.
Granted, this is an uncommon scenario, but even though the article warns against making “heroes” out of men who are primary caregivers, I found the tone of the article doing just that. I don’t feel compelled to give a man any extra kudos for staying home to care for the children he created. Maybe now that more men are taking on full-time child-raising as a career, the role might finally get the respect it lacked.
What I did find interesting was a buried tidbit that backed up a trend I’d been noticing in some of the relationship questions my clients have asked lately. There’s been an uptick in women who earn more than the men they’re involved with wondering whether it’s wrong to care about their mate’s current earnings or earning potential. Apparently it comes up more often these days, because 23 percent of wives out-earn their husbands, according to a 2010 study by the Pew Research Center. And women 30 and under make more money, on average, than their male counterparts in all but three of the largest cities in the United States.
Usually when there’s a story about women making more than their partners, the focus is on how to assuage the male ego. But maybe that focus should turn to making sure women, deep down, are actually okay with a partner who makes less. Even for the post-feminist gains women have made on the professional front, most of us were raised on fairytales and romantic comedies, and as such, a whole lot of women still expect traditional roles when it comes to relationships – that is, a man being the breadwinner/provider. And when he isn’t, sometimes things get tricky.
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Reader Comments (1)
Nowadays "money" is the strongest indication of "power". So if you translate it, it means when a woman has more money than her Man it means she has a lot more "power" than him. (That's definitely a thought that doesn't sit well with any man). However, anytime your ready to 'commit' to a serious relationship what you then consider 'power' shouldn't be money anymore. it should be completely different factors. (If any)
GREAT POST!