Essence.com: Is Low Self-Esteem Holding You Back?
Wednesday, July 25, 2012 at 9:59AM A couple years ago, I began a formspring page where women with dating or relationship woes could stop by to anonymously ask me their questions. After 18,000 answers, the page has evolved into a catch-all that includes careers, social etiquette, travel and more. I also founded a boutique life coaching company to help women work through their concerns via more intimate conversations.
I’ve got a lot of experience helping women unpack their baggage. And reading through all those questions and working with so many clients, I’ve reached a disturbing conclusion: A whole lot of women have low self-esteem. It’s the devil, and among my mostly female clientele, it’s the No. 1 blockage that keeps them from living their best lives.
It’s important to recognize the behavior and not mislabel it as something it’s not. I get questions from women who are unhappy in relationships with men who are unreliable, cheat rampantly, or just don’t sound very nice. Yet the women stay. It’s not because they’re “crazy” or “stupid,” labels commonly hurled at women who let bad relationships linger. It’s that they don’t believe they deserve or can do better. Sometimes it’s because they’ve started to believe an emotionally abusive man who tells them that. More often they didn’t think very highly of themselves going into the relationship.
The context of relationships is most often where low self-esteem is discussed, but that’s far from the only place this issue shows up or can be detrimental. I’ve heard from countless smart women with big dreams who are afraid to pursue them. There’s always a list of excuses, but at the core, there is a belief that they’re just not good enough to accomplish what they set their minds to.
Reader Comments (1)
Thank you for your advice. Don't let low self confidence stop our progress.