Clutch: Is Your Man on V... (Not Vampire Blood)?

Recently, my significant other dropped by to share a revelation. He was out with his homie, a woman, and then her girls showed up. They get to chatting, seemingly forgetting that he is present, or maybe the margaritas made them not care. Anyway, one of them says: “I’m good on all-night long stroking. My man can give me five great minutes, and as long as I cum, I’m fine.”

He, my man, stops talking, and I stare at him silently, waiting for him to get to the good part. But, then I realize that all women not wanting marathon sex every time is supposed to be it. Oh. You know, between this and Congressman Akin, I should really learn not to be surprised at the things men don’t know about women when it comes to sex or sexual anatomy. But I am.

And I guess they’re equally surprised at the things we don’t know too. Like say, you know, that one time when you and your late twenty-something/ early thirty-something boo who is supposed to be in his sexual prime went on that amazing weekend getaway, when he did that thing you like all night, then again the next day, and when you asked him to do it again, just one more time before you left, and he complied, with no problem? Yeah … he was probably on Viagra.

Of course, there aren’t hard numbers on how many under 35 men take sexual enhancement drugs. It’s not like men are readily confessing they use them, and two, it’s not like they’re getting them from a licensed physician or OTC at the pharmacy. The distributor is more like ”their man’s and them,” somebody’s doctor, nurse, or sales rep relative who has a hook up, or wherever black market Newports are sold. Yes, the local “Newports! Newports!” guy also sells V like it’s vampire blood, and randomly, it has the same sexual affect. Go figure.

Years ago, after a particularly, uh, joyful weekend, a guy I was dating told me he had a confession. “I took a pill,” he said. These were the days before Molly, so I assumed “X.” Nope, V.

I was offended. He had to take a pill to get it up?! Was he not attracted to me? But maybe I was focusing on the wrong thing. Hold up, why can’t he get it up at 27?

Turns out, he actually could get an erection without assistance, he said. And yes, he was attracted to me. He took a Viagra because of that: he was trying to impress me.

What?! I started asking around to my Male Mind Squad to see if this was some sort of trend I’d missed, or if I’d just stumbled upon the randomest guy ever. Nope. Trend.

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