Essence: Vanessa Long Speaks, But Do You Get What She's Saying?

Nearly two years after Bishop Eddie Long was accused of luring young men from his congregation into sexual relationships, his wife Vanessa Long has opened up about her decision to stand by her man. A recent video of her August address to the women’s ministry of New Birth Missionary Baptist Church has surfaced, showing a visibly emotional Mrs. Long explaining her decision to file for divorce in December 2011.

“I was in the middle of a storm and I got off the ship,” Long said before an auditorium of women who gave her a standing ovation. “As much as I love my husband, my family, my New Birth Family, I couldn’t take another minute pretending that I was okay.”

If you recall, that was a particularly messy exit. Mrs. Long filed for divorce on a Thursday, but withdrew the papers on Friday morning, and by that afternoon, the divorce was back on, according to news reports. In February 2012, the case was finally dismissed.

Of her ultimate decision to remain with her husband, Mrs. Long explained, “I realized that the best thing I could do was to let you see me as a woman, just like you. A woman capable of making good decisions and a woman capable of making bad decisions,” Long said. “Instead of condemning myself, I can use what happened as an opportunity to minister myself to someone else going through a storm.”

Forgive me, please, if I’m missing the teachable moment here. I watched the heavily edited video multiple times and I’m not sure exactly what it is that the audience is to take away from her testimony. Is it that she just wanted people to know she’s not perfect? Okay. I got that, but I never thought she was. But which decision does she think was her good one — filing for the divorce, or agreeing to stay? I don’t know.

Read more: here