Dear Yoga Girl, You Know That Most Black Girls Don’t Envy Your Shape, Right?



I debated  whether to weigh in on this XO Jane story , “It Happened to Me: There Are No Black People in My Yoga Classes and I’m Suddenly Feeling Uncomfortable With It.”

In case you missed the hoopla, a self-described “skinny”white girl went to a yoga class in NYC, saw a Black girl in her class and wrote the most narcissistic, projecting essay I’ve read in a really long time. The only thing I can think of that tops it is that infamous (and fake? And equally delusional) essay from a white woman explaining why Black men prefer white women. #womp


Here’s a selection from Yoga girl’s essay. Try not to laugh:

“A few weeks ago, as I settled into an exceptionally crowded midday class, a young, fairly heavy black woman put her mat down directly behind mine. It appeared she had never set foot in a yoga studio…

“Because I was directly in front of her, I had no choice but to look straight at her every time my head was upside down (roughly once a minute)… At that moment, though, I found it impossible to stop thinking about this woman. Even when I wasn’t positioned to stare directly at her, I knew she was still staring directly at me.

“Over the course of the next hour, I watched as her despair turned into resentment and then contempt. I felt it all directed toward me and my body. I was completely unable to focus on my practice, instead feeling hyper-aware of my high-waisted bike shorts, my tastefully tacky sports bra, my well-versedness in these poses that I have been in hundreds of times. My skinny white girl body. Surely this woman was noticing all of these things and judging me for them, stereotyping me, resenting me—or so I imagined.”


Are you laughing yet? It gets worse:

“I thought about how that must feel: to be a heavyset black woman entering for the first time a system that by all accounts seems unable to accommodate her body. What could I do to help her? If I were her, I thought, I would want as little attention to be drawn to my despair as possible—I would not want anyone to look at me or notice me. And so I tried to very deliberately avoid looking in her direction each time I was in downward dog, but I could feel her hostility just the same.”


Really, lady?



Lawd, how I wish someone could track down the Black girl in the yoga class for the ultimate response piece. I really want to know what she was thinking. It was probably, “Can I live?”

White Yoga Girl is currently being dragged for entire life across the Internet. There are many great retorts, but the best response came from where writer Kadia B. substituted yoga for twerking and read Yoga Girl from the complete Encyclopedia Britannica:


“A few weeks ago, as I settled into my crowded evening class, a young, fairly thin white woman took her position right behind me. She appeared to have never set foot in a twerk-out studio before..

“Because I was directly in front of her, I had no choice but to twerk in her face. I found it impossible to not think about this poor woman behind me. Even though I wasn’t positioned to stare directly at her, I knew she was still staring directly at my ass. Over the course of the next hour, I felt her despair turn into resentment and then contempt. I just knew for sure, it was directed toward me and my booty.

“By the time Juvenile’s “Back That Ass Up” came on, I was completely unable to focus on my twerking.  Instead, I was feeling hyper-aware of my spandex booty shorts, my sexy tight tank top, my well-versedness in dropping it like it’s hot. My heavy-set black woman body.  Surely this skinny white girl was noticing all of these things and judging me for them, stereotyping me, resenting me – or so I assumed. However, I’m pretty sure I was right. How could I be wrong?”


Like I said, there have been so many great satirical and intelligent responses (honorable mention), I feel like I would be re-inventing the wheel to do add one of my own.

There is, however, one point that I have not seen in the many great responses, a nuance that NEEDS addressing:


SOME white ladies need to know that really, it’s only thicker American Black girls who were raised in or only operate in white environments who have any envy for the “ideal” skinny white girl shape. Skinny Black girls have the same shape, usually with some ass, and they’re not trying to exchange it for long back or noassitall.

In general, Black girls don’t get the size 0/ size 2 with absolutely no curves thing that SOME white women cottage cheese, lettuce and yoga their way through life for. We flip through “mainstream” magazines and look at the clothes on the skinny models that reflect the white ideal and think, “that might look like something if she had some shape, but her shoes are cute though.”

Think I’m playing? Look on Twitter at the reaction to the  size 2 Beyonce’ that showed up at the Grammys Sunday night.

This may cause some alarm for white folk who think they are the center of the universe, but those particular white folk do need to know that Black folk have their own standard of “ideal” beauty. It involves curves in the “right” places– kinda like what Bey had pre-Blue or like the woman in the picture at the top of this page. And there are black girls aplenty trying to get that shape, narrow waist, wide hips, thick thighs and plump ass mandatory. When most Black women exercise, we’re mostly trying to cardio off mid-sections and keep everything else curvaceous so we can “fill out” our clothes, ironically enough, just like Beyonce’ sang about on “Jealous“. Milkshakes bring boys, of all colors, to the yard.

Lastly, Black women really don’t spend that much time thinking about white women. We go through life thinking about, you know, ish that matters– when is Scandal coming back, how long it’s going to take to pay back Sallie Mae loans, if the Rabbit has fresh batteries, etc. Random white women only pop on our radar when one of them does something wildly offensive or asinine… like write a masturbatory essay about how a Black woman minding her own damn business in a yoga studio must envy or hate her  for being thin and white.

And then? Well then, you get dragged.



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This Post Has 104 Comments

  1. elle says:

    THIS. Is the most amazing post EVER!!
    (and is that sister in the photo a trainer? she is the

    • Username* says:

      Those comments were absurd! Lol. Apparently this narsisstic woman lives in a box and does not come in contact with to many black women! That’s psychological, and she’s using reverse psychology to cover up her own insecurities. it seems to me she is attracted to black men on the down low as society puts it. I know plenty of black women that practice yoga and have body to go along with it. And when I say body, I mean a nice curvy body. Is it that she’s enviest of the black woman’s shape that she had to make a rediculess statement in her essay and go so far as to pick on this over weight black woman???? Lol.! She has issues within her self ! No disrespect to no race of women and I find attraction in all races of women, but if you disrespect the black woman you disrespect the black man.

      Black women stay strong.

  2. MissDajaJ says:

    The nerve of this woman. Honestly, it was more hilarious than offensive that this woman really and truly believed this black woman was thinking of her. lol! Like, I can’t… She’s oblivious to the world.

  3. Love that you made this post using this particular photo. Priceless! Me a black woman, envy the white girl body….no, no, noooooo way! I take bikram yoga from time-to-time. Hot and challenging, but it gets me closer to looking like I’ll be competing in the Olympics. :-) Great response D.

  4. Honestly being the ‘fat black girl’ in classes like this I go into the class knowing that this is the attitude a lot of women have. And my attitude? I don’t give a flying flip. I’m there because for some reason that class fits into my schedule, usually due to working downtown. Honestly I would love to be in a class with other black woman. But I’m there to get healthy, reduce stress and get a good sweat going so that takes priority. The thing that annoys me the most is the guy who farts and lets his nut sack hang out. But hey, ish happens and I’m grown so I keep it moving and worry about me.

  5. IJS says:

    All. Of. This.

    A couple of years ago, I went to an exclusive clothing boutique with my then boyfriend. I picked out some stuff to try on and a sales lady directed me to a fitting room. This chick says to me with snark and derision, “Oh my, you have breasts.” I replied, “Yes, I’m not a 14-year old boy… Thank You!” with the appropriate pause to insert a silent ‘bitch’ at the end. One day we’ll all be free.

  6. Soncie22 says:

    Hunni because of YOU, I liive, yass gawd!

  7. I appreciate this. Long gone are the days when we envy ‘the white woman’. If she hasn’t notice, for the past, say 200 odd years, it has been the reverse! White women want a behind, lips, and boobs just like us! And kudos to you because I really do think about these other things, …”We go through life thinking about, you know, ish that matters– when is Scandal coming back, how long it’s going to take to pay back Sallie Mae loans, if the Rabbit has fresh batteries, etc.” I will take my curves over stick figures any day. Btw, white AND black men LOVE me and my curves! *wink*

  8. Nina says:

    Say that! These chicks just don’t get it. I remember walking through an uppity mall in Northern Virginia one afternoon and overhearing these little white girls giggling about the size of my butt. I so wanted to tell them, “Sorry, boos, a big butt is a good thing where I’m from. Nice try.”

  9. laddibugg says:

    I choked when I saw ‘Otis’! Some people need to realize that they are not the center of everyone’s world

  10. Mzkenyatta says:

    Great post!!
    This woman was very comical.

  11. tybaker says:

    Thank you sis! My friend and I just said yesterday we have never in our lives heard a sister envious of a white woman’s shape. Her article was narcissistic, judgmental and a complete fantasy made up in her small little mind.

  12. Tesheya says:

    Well said. She’s delusional.

  13. ebonywiggins says:

    Great post!
    I love that you mentioned ever black girl is not curvy. I am a size 2 and I have been that size all my life, literally. I was raised on cornbread and collards wayyy below the Mason Dixon line. People often define black women as curvy….we are all different sizes and shapes, thats what makes us such a phenomenon!!

  14. Royalgirl22 says:

    It pisses me off that white people are always coming for Black people. When people talk about you or make negative comments about you they are jealous and want something they wish they had or covet. That skinny white lady is miserable inside. I feel that secretly the majority of men, particularly white men want a Black woman, lusting after our skin color and bodies. The same goes for white women getting all these enhancements to their body secretly lusting after black women. Just ask her about post and pre slavery and learn the history of her white male ancestors lusting after Black women. Tell this skinny white girl to ask herself when was the last time she got a tan. Just envious. The black lady was probably staring at her because the white lady blatantly stared at her and kept staring at her making the black lady uncomfortable.

  15. Black Girls have absolutely nothing to worry about. The fact is that many white guys, including this one, also like Black Girls and Black Girl bodies with their curves, muscle and even some of their fat is fine too. Black women who accentuate their curves through weight lifting and sculpting are probably what more and more men truly want in a woman. Then again, some of just like strong, sexy woman who love themselves and project confidence. Sometimes that comes in a little frame and others in a larger one.

  16. Shera Lee says:

    To the top of the mountains I’m screaming YES!!! When the hell is Scandal coming back on!?

  17. […] Whaaaattt?! – “Yoga Girl”, we love our curves! Stop with the Madness […]

  18. Lcooper22 says:

    I read that with my mouth wide open…Love your response…dead on…

  19. I am a white girl who grew up in NYC not thinking about my best friends as anything other than that. BUT i must say I am so jealous that in my 40’s I have more wrinkles than my 72 year old neighbor who has dark skin. My skin is pale in the winter and dry, you can see the dark circles under my eyes when I do not get sun and am sleep deprived.

    There is so much more to be jealous of, the other way around. Not to mention that the history of your race did not cause the worst atrocities in human history.

    • Lilmama says:

      It is time for white people to work on white people. Face your historical facts of attrocities and divide and conquer tactics planet wide and make changes so the world can be a better place. Just stop it white people and the rest of us will heal and be just fine.

  20. deeeelyte says:

    Thanks for writing this!!! Such an dumb ass she is!! But for some reason, i’m not surprised. i’ve experienced this presumptuous behavior with white women. I’ve been practicing Bikram Yoga for 12.5 years and I have a curvaceous body as well and i get lots of random looks, some very inspiring, some very admiring and some very nasty looks…hmmmm. Great read D!

  21. At 51 years old now, I have seen in my lifetime the feminine ideal evolve, broaden and become more inclusive of variety. Sure, Real Men LOVE curves but they also like strong, sexy, confident and intelligent women and those types of women come in all different sizes, shapes and colors. BEAUTY is all around us. I can fall in love with a woman who has major curves to tri-athlete with basically no breasts or an Amazonian Muscle/Fitness type. The point is that so many types are SEXY and FEMININE and whatever type you are or can be, can in the end be THE BEST THAT ANY MAN COULD GET. That is not even FEMINISM, hell that is just reality if you truly love women. If you do, celebrate the variety and diversity of the feminine within the feminine.

  22. Anon says:

    This is possibly the most racist article about yoga that I have ever seen.

  23. alicia says:

    Know how to offend a black woman? Tell her it looks like she’s getting skinny.
    What depresses a black woman, an azz that keeps getting flatter and smaller.

    Great article.

  24. Nobody want them them no shape having Yoga chicks. Some of these people out here are just brain dead.

  25. Isa says:

    Bizarre to think that the white girl didn’t think she was getting stared at because, um, maybe the other person really hadn’t done yoga before and was trying to figure out how to do the moves. I stare like crazy at anyone in front of me in a class I’ve never been to before, no matter what they look like. Also, the hands-down best yoga class participant I have ever seen in my life was a less-than-skinny, unassuming woman in her late 6os. No one was staring because she was so hot–we were staring because we hope to be that flexible and awesome when we’re that old. And the best instructor I ever had was a Black woman who repeatedly kicked all of our asses.

  26. Oh, I am sooo in love with this article. I have been away on vacation so I totally missed this “Yoga Girl” viral mess..but I will totally look her up now. So sad, delusional…poor little stick figure thinking someone else is admiring her (lack of) curves. Well said sistah ..everything in this response blog was right on the money!

  27. Youknowthis says:

    Preach girl. I practice yoga and I rarely see any shapes in there that I envy, not even close. If I’m looking at fellow student its because I can’t see in the instructor and presume that a more experienced yogi is doing the move/pose correctly. But now, for shame, I’d better avert my eyes. Because the last thing I want is for some random white girl to think I’m hating on her skinny body.

  28. This is comical. Where I am, there are white women who have just as much badunka dunk as I do. And they love it!

  29. zenzi says:

    This article made my whole life. I was waiting for somebody to respond the way you did, and I thank you for that.

  30. FLYlibrarian says:

    Chile, I was GUFFAWING over ‘OTIS!’
    Perfect response.

  31. sean says:

    hahahahahaha – I love your response to that woman, and I am a skinny white guy (well, I actually have a decent build but who cares – its funnier that way)

    pretty sure no one thinks about how I look other than me and maybe my wife

  32. LMAO!! #dead at the last paragraph! I ain’t got no Sallie Mae loan to pay back though. 0_0 I wanted to slap that white girl through the computer, she sounds paranoid. Ain’t nobody want her shape. Hell, I’m tryna get my booty back after losing 15lbs. You read her well.

  33. danadane827 says:

    This was such a good read! My white friend is a yoga instructor & she had never made me feel different in her class. I have always felt comfortable in her class. This woman was hating on the thick sista in the yoga class.

  34. Man KC says:

    I am a black man… i love it when my wife exercises…but I sure hope she wont lose the booty and the curves. As for Beyonce… what a waste!

  35. Yes and not all white women want to have no curves, either! Some of us like having a booty. Some of us have been doing squats lately to fill out the booty :)

  36. John Valdez says:

    Soy Chicano, feminist ally.

    This msg will be angry.

    Fuck those skinny white girls.
    And all the white people, who are the mainstream of yoga/meditation, and don’t ever have to think of culture.

    I am in Los Angeles and 98% of the time, I am the only “spot” in the groups that I attend.

    The post that this “skinny white bitch” posted seems incredulous and prompts me to wonder if it’s truly for real. I doubt that it is.

    The love of my life is a white girl. And she not skinny. And she refers to many of her students and colleagues alike as “skinny bitches.”

    Yoga is a white world.
    And it is difficult to let go of that glaring dominance for us people of color. Even we who are dudes.

    I look forward to a time that this won’t be so significant a topic. I think, and hope, that it will happen in my lifetime.

  37. Kimberly says:

    This is my best response. “Who made you the center of the universe? I will never be what you want and that’s alright!!” Laura Mvula

  38. HD23 says:

    I am confused. Are you all pissed off because this was about a BLACK woman or HEAVY woman. The idiot who wrote this was focusing more on the fact that she was heavy and she was skinny. But this has turned into a major racial issue, it seems. (like pretty much else in this country as soon as you say black. black people can say white and its not racist). I’m not sure if I explain this well.
    Like this article: Russian socialite sitting on a chair that depicted black woman in bondage, S&M style. That became a racist issue. So if the woman in bondage was white, then it would have been considered legit art? It was offensive as was, but it just became about race.

    • uh what? says:

      1. You’re making some major assumptions so that you’re not made to feel uncomfortable. That discomfort is called privilege. It’s cool, I have it too. You didn’t ask for it, it’s not your fault that you have it, but it doesn’t mean that everything people turn into a racial issue isn’t actually a racial issue.
      2. It’s is not just about heavy or skinny which is a lame thing to do anyhow. The anchor here is that she is a “SKINNY WHITE GIRL” and this other woman is a “HEAVY BLACK WOMAN.” You can choose to give more weight (pun intended) to the body size here, but if you actually go and read the article:
      you will find that it is, in fact, about her being a black woman in the studio that makes her presence so startling. This article IS about how yoga, to the original author, feels less inclusive than originally thought since it doesn’t make room for women, particularly heavy women, particularly black, heavy, women, to take part.
      3. The people reading THIS article are missing the point of this girl’s post. It was not meant to be a racist comparison between bodies. It’s NOT meant to say that white women should only practice yoga. It IS however, a condescending, privilege-ridden, ignorant post where the already privileged writer assumes that it is her role to “save” this poor, heavy, black woman. It’s sappy, but it’s not mean-spirited.

      4. The article you posted IS a race issue. IT’s not about bondage in a silly S&M sense, it’s about power. If this woman were white in bondage, it would be a tacky, sexual, bondage statement. Because this woman is black and in bondage, it cannot exist without the cultural paradigm of racism. “Art” cannot be about intent. It has to exist in the cultural sphere and interact with it’s viewers. The artist doesn’t travel with every piece and EXPLAIN it.

    • UghDuh says:

      If it was more about the fact that she was heavy, why say what race she was at all? Why mention that she was Black in the title instead of calling it, “It Happened to Me: There Are No Overweight People in My Yoga Classes…” Because it was about the fact that she was Black too. What you just did, that’s a classic in the White People Denying Race Issues in Conversations Playbook. Really think before you hit “post comment” next time.

  39. JanKat says:

    Have any of you read this article by an Indian woman and her experiences in a “white” yoga environment. It got posted over at in the comments section at as well:

    Why I left Yoga (and why I think a helluva lot of people are being duped)

  40. Sadia says:


  41. svenska says:

    thanks for this post! that xo jane article made me (a stout, yoga-going white girl) seriously cringe. and i can tell you my greatest inspiration at a yoga studio was here in brooklyn! move with grace is led by grace tappin (who happens to be a gorgeous, full-bodied black woman). she provides great, supportive instruction in a welcoming, no-frills atmosphere.

  42. Patrick says:

    HAHA at longback, oh that is great.

  43. Miriam says:

    I love this post however let’s not give her anymore attention….they just don’t get it. We Love Our Bodies!!! Just want to be healthy. Love your show, you are so well-rounded in what you do.

  44. Myia24 says:

    For some reason I feel like she made the story up. She probably got pushed by one and then made up a fictitious story to redistribute her anger.

  45. Belle!!!!

    All I can say is, “DON’T COME FOR ME IF I DIDN’T SEND FOR YOU!”

    Thank you so much for this piece. I will be sharing it with all my girlfriends: black, white, puerto rican and asian!! :-)

  46. StillLisa says:

    Wasn’t that a mess? I’m a regular over at xoJane, and all I can say is shame, shame, shame on them all.

  47. […] Demetria Lucas expressed this aspect of a black woman’s double consciousness best in her response, “Dear Yoga Girl, You Know That Most Black Girls Don’t Envy Your Shape, […]

  48. […] Demetria Lucas expressed this aspect of a black woman’s double consciousness best in her response, “Dear Yoga Girl, You Know That Most Black Girls Don’t Envy Your Shape, […]

  49. SJHarrison says:

    I love this response! As a white woman with a big bum and big legs, it’s my black women friends who have helped me to admire my own body. Mainstream white ‘culture’ has a really sick approach to women’s bodies. I read an article once by Camille Paglia that charted how the image of women in the media (white women) became sexually dis-empowered, anorexic and drug addicted in appearance in equal relationship to women making real gains in the world – i.e. with success in terms of women’s rights. Marilyn Monroe vs Kate Moss. What’s as bad to me is that we (women) are comparing ourselves to each other so much.

  50. alona says:

    This is hands down the best post I’ve seen addressing this girl and her ignorant article. Bravo.

  51. Marisol says:

    “Real Women Have Curves”….Latinas who have not fallen for the “white-is-right” beauty lie are also proud of our hips and booty right along with our African-American sisters!!!

  52. […] should be asleep for work, and I stumbled across this article one of my acquaintances posted from A Belle In Brooklyn and I was floored. I’d heard bits and pieces about the original article, but nothing […]

  53. Tricia says:

    This is what I don’t get when I read posts like this one. Its always heard from minorities, “we want equality. no generalizations about our ‘race’, no stereotypes. were all the same, etc.” But then articles like this are FULL of generalizations and stereotypes about black people, and everyone is loving it! If a white girl wrote this, she’d get a ton of hate.

  54. […] Demetria Lucas expressed this aspect of a black woman’s double consciousness best in her response, “Dear Yoga Girl, You Know That Most Black Girls Don’t Envy Your Shape, […]

  55. moriah says:

    What I want to know is, why are we (women) still dividing ourselves this way? Women need to support each other, it doesn’t matter what color we are. It shouldn’t matter what our bodies are shaped like. I’m attracted to people as friends or partners who LOVE who they are. That’s one of my biggest criteria. Self love is the hottest feature you can have.

    This persons blog is narcissistic and uninformed, for sure. I’m a white skinny girl and I too remember growing up feeling bad about my body. All of my friends had boobs, I was very flat chested. I had spindly limbs like some kind of insect and boys (and girls) made fun of me all the time.

    Now that I’m an “adult” I’ve filled out a little but I’m at the point now where I can finally get to feel like “screw it” this is the package I came in. It doesn’t matter so much what I look like because I am the person I want to be.
    Stay strong ladies! Don’t let anyone make you feel like your worth is defined by your body, we are all beautiful when we love who we are!

  56. Ken Adler says:

    At first I didn’t understand at the anger at the original article, but now I realize that not everything needs to be seen through the lens of race. There is an argument to be made that gyms and gym classes/ yoga are not accommodating to people who are out of shape. But it has nothing to do with race. She probably wouldn’t have written this article if there was a heavy white woman in the class also. You basically have to walk into a gym/yoga class knowing what is going on.. Unless you have a really good instructor, you’re screwed.

  57. Charla says:

    Why do we all have Sallie Mae loans. Now that is something that I actually think about. I actually just LOL at the description of the perfect curvy body. I’m “dieting” now but if I ever lost my thighs or hips I would be mortified. Seriously heartbroken. I love my shape and my softness. I look like a woman. From what I gather from the males of all races I encounter, they all love it too.

  58. […] Demetria Lucas expressed this aspect of a black woman’s double consciousness best in her response, “Dear Yoga Girl, You Know That Most Black Girls Don’t Envy Your Shape, […]

  59. Janonymous says:

    SOME white ladies need to know that really, it’s only thicker American Black girls who were raised in or only operate in white environments who have any envy for the “ideal” skinny white girl shape

    Thank you for stating that!

  60. beachtoes says:

    Yoga is not a white world – it is around the world. And started in India – a rainbow of colors and class restrictions that are worse then most of the world. As for this white woman – shes a fucking idiot (language-sorry). As for this white woman (mixed Italian, Cherokee, Black) with curves in all the right places and thick legs, I can say she speaks only for herself and not other white women. I love my body and seek to be healthy by my definition, not anyone elses. We are mostly American rainbows these days – so everyone – get over it – it is just adding to the color lines and the problem. This ladies worldview is just naive, limited, and typically narcissistic. Oh – and a tad disgusting.

    I was in yoga yesterday in Atlanta – several beautiful black women hanging out and being a part of the whole experience – as were Asian beauties, white beauties, an Indian chick and a little girl. Even a few men came. It was great. Yoga isn’t about an ideal American white body ( defined by magazines and tv), it is about a groovy healthy lifestyle.

    Love your show – well – love you on it, Love the intelligent, open, feminist perspective you bring. And your groovy, modern, vibrant style. You make the show. Hate to see it take a racist twist to hate white chics, or any woman. It should be about what you did – making women stronger and giving thought to who we are and what we do. Some are stupid, some are brilliant (and have much to offer all). Then again, there is Daisy (could she be more naive and the shit coming out of her mouth –stupid) and then there is you ( beautiful and brilliant). Come on – why make this a color thing – it’s a woman thing. BTW -that woman would have thought the same limited bs if a heavy white woman was behind her.

    Anytime you want take a yoga class and get your ohm on, let me know.
    Hope you keep rocking the new show. Congrats!


  61. Julie02 says:

    Could it be that the Black woman was looking at her because she was wondered why the White woman was staring? Aside from that, it’s typical for White women to think everyone envies them. Actually a great number of them envy each other and spend billions of dollars a year on botox, tanning, rear implants, etc. to keep up with one another. Studies have shown that Black women, for the most part, have higher self esteem than their White counterparts. The reason Whites are a considered a standard of beauty is because the US leads the charge in marketing what is desirable, so White women are promoted as the only sector of women worthy of admiring. Love your spirit, embrace your curves and if you ever come across a this type of patronage, loathing, or angst just ignore it and smile, remembering that God gave you a beautiful body and mind.

  62. sarah schumm says:

    That’s just wacky. How could anyone who actually practices yoga on a regular basis be that delusional? A huge part of yoga is accepting your body and not being judgmental, yoga is about letting go, not trying to look “perfect” “Yoga Girl” should maybe take up another form of exercise because she just doesn’t get it. I hope it was fake for the sake of the delusional lady. BTW I’m a white lady who is 38-30-40 and I hated my curves my whole life till I made some good black GFs!

  63. La says:

    “Everything about this article is offensive. Somehow, the author’s attempt to show self-awareness makes it worse.

    eta: I eagerly await the follow-up piece: “IHTM: I was Just Trying to Do My Fucking Yoga and This Weird-Ass White Girl Kept Staring at Me with Tears in Her Eyes” -og_cheeky •

  64. […] To Me: There Are No Black Women In My Yoga Class…with references from At the Bar, KazzleDazz, A Belle in Brooklyn and An Open […]

  65. ALICIA says:





  66. […] A Belle In Brooklyn wrote a great piece concerning this issue, and I highly suggest you read it. After that, I also suggest you go onto Instagram and Tumblr, and look at some black female yogis whose bodies are amazing, and they’re sharing their yoga journeys. Some of my personal favorites include @pretti_yogi_re, @vegheadlife, @heartbeat4many, @yoginikoko, @blackcherryberry, @yogaracheal,  and @florettaa just to name a few. […]

  67. karenthediva says:

    Right on time! Loved your article. That XO article made me vomit!!!

  68. Tamara says:

    Poor yoga girl…so many things come to mind but the top 2 are…”She” sounds so young and immature…very girlish…on who thinks on the small scale of things as if she is still in high school. The other thing that comes to mind is how self-absorbed she sounds. For her to really think that woman gave a second thought about her thin body?! Give me a beak. I’m confident that when that “sista” decided to walk-in that yoga studio she knew exactly what she was going to see in there. And when she walked-in she did so with confidence and pride! Knowing she had every right to be there no matter what her size was! Skinny yoga girl could have encouraged her and said something like, “great job, hope to see you next time”. Yoga girl needs less of herself and more of the sista…she could learn a thing or two about compassion.

  69. opal stacie says:

    I started reading her post when it first came up, like the first few minutes it went live and I had already knew it was going to be a problem. I swear I thought it was a joke. Then I find out it was a black woman who put it press.

    Anyway–loved this post.

  70. […] misguided essay launched hundreds of responses, including one of my own, which pointed out that no, white lady, black women in general aren’t sitting around pining […]

  71. Sarah Vaughn says:

    The Black woman was thinking what most people practicing yoga thinks….when in the heck is the instructor going to change this pose!

    … and for the record, there are tons (no pun) of “heavy-set” white women that take yoga. I see them in class every time I go. Not to mention the thin white women that struggle to get into various poses as well.

    I wonder if she had been a “heavy-set” white woman, would she still have felt contempt?

  72. Tenitrus says:

    Greatness! Sadly most of them think everyone is envious of them.

    First, how do you make Yoga white? I tire of the mindlessness of them at times. *smh* I am really baffled at the idea she thinks this woman is inveous of her rail thin body.

  73. […] I could also comment on how Yoga girl takes a narcissistic and biased view of her own body as not only the yoga ideal but also apparently the ideal of the unnamed heavy black woman (again, with whom she NEVER SPOKE). But again that view has been very powerfully expressed here. […]

  74. Sheena says:

    This idiot has clearly missed the point of yoga – which is about accepting your body and connecting with your breath (along with other things but acceptance is key.) I’m a white woman with big hips and an ass and thick thighs. These have always been things that I’ve done my best to hide – with clothing and with dieting, until I started to develop my practice. There are absolutely women in my class who are larger than me who are able to carry positions better than I can and women who are thinner than I am who can’t. This young white woman’s article is so ridiculous I have to wonder if it was simply created for a reaction.

  75. VassyB says:

    This is the first time reading an article from you. This was a great one and You’ve got my attention!!!

  76. […] Dear Yoga Girl, You Know That Most Black Girls Don’t Envy Your Shape, Right? […]

  77. RedDonnaAnn says:

    As a white woman who has been skinny, been “normal”, done a lot of yoga (Bikram’d out for a few years) has stopped exercising at all for periods I can say this with impunity:

    1. NO ONE knows what another person is thinking, period.

    2. This is not about race, I see plenty of black people in my LA yoga classes (and running, hiking, biking, swimming… uh, physical activity knows no race)

    3. Skinny White Girl has problems she does not recognize, mainly narcissism which will lead her to pass all sorts of judgements on all sorts of people and think it’s normal, smart and insightful

    4. Giving any kind of credence to this being a race thing is just giving SWG more airplay than she should ever, ever have

    I say celebrate all women in all forms and high fucking five to any of us who show up to use our bodies in any way at all. And yes, this high fucking five extends to men. And children. And Asians. And the disabled. And, oh let us not forget the … get it?

  78. Beth says:

    I am a white woman and I love this post..well, all your posts, but this one cracked me up. Especially the twerk class lol.

    I think every woman should feel comfortable and confident in their own skin. If you are not, then do what works for you to get to that point.

    We only have this one life and it’s too short spending it on trying to be like everyone else. ((Hugs))

  79. Username* says:

    I realize I am super late with this but I will still reply. I am a black woman that happens to be a size zero and I would love to let yoga girl know: I am your size, the size you think is so envied and I hate it. Yes you may have other Caucasian women that envy your body but that is about it. Black woman’s ideal size is not a skinny size zero, that is not what we consider sexy and neither do the majority of our men. I don’t even want to be the size zero that I am, I do everything in my power to try to plumb up. The only people that have told me “I wish I was your size” are white women. Black women are usually telling me I need to gain some weight. So sorry to burst your bubble but we are not checking for you.

  80. sweetie, you don’t speak for all black women (and for some of you in the comments, you sure as heck do not speak for men. Your man may like your big booty, and that’s fine, but plenty love skinny ladies too. Stop stereotyping black men). Plenty would love that figure… any, race isn’t relevant. Except to racists of course, as well as women so insecure with their own figures they feel the need to make an article like this.

    These comments are embarrassing too. reverse the races around and the racist black women would be throwing fits. When you objectify a white “girl” for her race, though, it’s perfectly acceptable.

    Good old equality, love, and tolerance, everyone.

    Just stop. You embarrass me and plenty of other black women.

  81. kate says:

    That white yoga girl letter is a hoax, its got to be…I don’t know any white girls who think like that, its like least not in the UK, even the most stuck up white girls wouldn’t really say or even think this kinda thing.. some might prefer being skinny and enjoy having that shape (but some prefer being curvy), but I have never heard a girl talk like this..

  82. Dee Ray says:

    I love this article it is so true. I never have and ever will be jealous of a white. The only thing I want from their body is their flat stomach. They can keep the rest cause I don’t want it. I love my curves and think the woman that wrote the article was more jealous of the black woman, because she wish she could be like her.

  83. THIS POST GAVE ME LIIIIIFE! I’m a Moroccan girl -obviously not white, and I have curves. I take pride in my curves, cause as a North African woman it’s a part of my DNA, and I feel sexy in them. I have though, observed that white girls were girls who would talk about my body behind my back. They would say things like “I feel sorry for girls like her. It must be hard to find clothes that fit her body ratio.” I’m not saying that all skinny girls are jealous of curvy girls. That’s kind of ignorant to think that. However, girls who put other girls down – that’s an indication that they’re jealous. Considering that the girls who would bash my body didn’t have hips or boobs, I feel like they were just insecure.

  84. Jagnew says:

    I just stumbled across this article and I love it! I guess from the outside I am a skinny, white girl that does yoga but I hate, hate, hate yoga bitches. I have been practicing yoga for 5 years and still have to bend my knees to touch my toes. These yoga bitches run around in tight clothes, acting like they are yogis, never smile…and let’s be real …act like bitches. I just went to a yoga studio and everyone was walking around, heads in the air and not one person would smile at me. I left. This is not yoga. Yoga is union, connection and community. To write an article that the girl wrote was putting something really mean and nasty out into the universe. We never know what anyone is going through on the inside. This woman may have been practicing yoga for years and probably didn’t even notice the yoga bitch in front of her, that was apparently obsessed with her. Well I loved your response and just hope that I am not judged as a yoga bitch because of how I look….I wish I had curves!

  85. […] non-muscular frames as feminine. Had they read Demetria Lucas D’Oyley’s’ blogpost about black women and body image from a year earlier, or scores of reports on black women and body i…, they would know that African Americans very often consider the ample breasts and ample buttocks of […]

  86. […] frames as feminine. Had they read Demetria Lucas D’Oyley’s’ essay about black women and body image from a year earlier, or scores of reports on black women and body image, they would know that […]

  87. […] frames as feminine. Had they review Demetria Lucas D’Oyley’s’ letter about black women and physique image from a year earlier, or scores of reports on black women and physique image, they would know that […]

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