Guest Blogger: Even More Outchea Adventures
Monday, October 19, 2009 at 9:26AM I have to preface this story as it's about CBC (congressional Black Caucus) weekend in DC, which many of you know I get completely geeked for every year. As my co-worker pointed out, "it's like Freak-nik for bourgie adults." That assessment is based solely on the number of parties city-wide. We're talking at least FIVE hot parties per day, starting every day at 6PM. Open bar and top-notch catering everywhere from the rooftop of the W to the Women in Arts Museum to the Finland or French or Swedish Embassies to any available hotel ballroom to The Park to Love to Josephine's and more. It's like a mini-Inauguration.
But even though there's a Freak-nik vibe, DC is still DC, which means it's still he bourgoiest place on earth (ATL, eat your heart out.) It's the only place I've ever been where people's opening intro line is, "Hi... I work for [insert congressman or law firm no one outside DC has ever heard of.] That gets followed up with, "Where do you work?" (always an upturned nose if it's anything artistic) or better "so where did you get your Master's?" (you'll be stoned on sight if you don't have a Bachelor's.) It's the equivalent of Haitians asking other Haitians they just met "do you speak French?" in French to guage their class/education level.
Oh, and DC dwelling- dudes regularly rock suits to to the club. It's borderline uncivilized to "just" rock a button down (that's Saturday daywear.) A blazer will get you in, but may not get you noticed. And when I say suit, I'm talking the suit with the shirt, with a cashmere V-dipped sweater (always pastel) with the Windsor knot puffed up so everyone can see it. The suit game is pretentious serious in DC.
If DC is the bourgoisest place on earth without CBC Weekend, multiply the stush by 10 for the last weekend in September. This makes the city in general and CBC weekend specifically, absolutely hilarious if you fit in (if you look the part you can waltz in anywhere) and annoying and mortifying if you do not (you'll get treated like a NYC or Miami doorman does a tourist to a really swank club.... and that's by everyone you meet, not just doormen.)
Keep that background in mind for the next Outchea adventure.
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Oh yeah I didnt forget about yall. I'm still OUTCHEA. For bored people only. LOL:
Two weeks ago...
This week in DC was CBC (Congressional Black Caucus) and I salute the movement. Hands down one of the most powerful organizations in the country for minorities.
My dudes are headed to the club. I'm in. One asks, "you rocking a suit? You know it's CBC." MUNGKEYS!
I must expose these suit wearing in the club ass dudes. That's a nice suit bro but the main event is over. Don't get it twisted. I understand Dressing for Success and will kill folks with an Italian style double breasted if I want to look tall, or even a two or three button classic with custom sized lapels, slanted flap pockets, hemmed to perfection (greatness.) Let's not talk about ties neither! OH MY TIE GAME IS TYPE MONSTER OUTCHEA! My suit game goes harder than you one black, one navy, one brown ass dudes. I'm outchea!
But when I'm about to step foot in the club, I'm not tryna be dressed for church, B. Then these munkey suit dudes in the club want to look down on me, cuz we (me and my crew) are outchea in regular gear. Nah dude. You're a mungkey! I'm seeing these dudes break sweats doing the jiggly man, stanky arm, or whatever dances are out, looking like clowns! That's just me though. I'm against a lot of things: jeans and hard nosed shoes, blazers with anything but a suit... I mean I just feel like if your gonna dress up, rock that whole thing.
Anyway, I'm outchea sitting on the couch and this chick comes up to me
Her: So why you got that toothpick in your mouth?
Me: Is that how you say hello?
Her: No, cause if it was a way around hello, I coulda asked about your belt, or what time it was, or where the bathroom was, or anything I felt like asking to get your attention, so I really want to know why the toothpick?
Er?
Me: Where you from?
Her: Why?
Me: Just asking because I know you arent from here. DC women don't just come up and speak. EVER. Specially cute ones like yourself.
Her: Philly.
Me: Oh, ok.
Her: You not gonna answer my question?
Me: Came with something they were serving downstairs, just kept chewing it.
[insert drink babble here]
Long story short, me and my dudes left with these ladies and rode around town, then ended up dropping them off at their hotel. Didn't close. On the way home, we rolled up a joint, laughing. Right when we pulled up to my house, I was like. "All that gas, money at The Diner, and here we are back at the crib with nada."
My boy thinks for a minute, looks at me and says, "I know right, maybe we shoulda rocked suits."
Happy monday.
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Reader Comments (17)
This is about what, exactly?
That's the DC I know, love and fled like it beat me bloody. I get the same vibe with a lot of Uptown folks here in NYC, which is why I am a Brooklyn girl till I leave this earth (or at the least, until I leave this city). I love my DC bougie folks, though. Most of the ones I dealt with were either really cool beneath the dorky, affluence aspirant armor or just so absurdly snotty that I just had a blast laughing at them. There is a cool artsy, down to earth Black contingent there as well, but it seems that as the city gets more gentrified, the Buppie flags are flying a lot higher.
The good thing about DC, the thing i love, is the amount of progressive, educated Black people that live and work there. The downside to that is the pretentiousness and the snobbery, and on a man its most unattractive. If you are in Love or Park in a suit it better be a happy hour event... Please dont be up at these establishments 2am in your suit...
And this writer needs a blog I can visit on a regular basis... thank you! :-)
"Please dont be up at these establishments 2am in your suit"
c'mon. you know how DC does. you know dudes who dress up on Saturday night in suits to go to The Park.
Men who will go home and change into a better suit on Thursdays to get into Josephine's. LOL!
I'm a hater of ALL things bourgeoisie and pretentious. Kinda like Sister Toldja, except I'm NYC born and bred. But it was amusing to read this entry and see how much people fall over themselves to sniff out other bourgeoisie people and can't get over themselves. Amusing indeed.
Man...He hit the DC nail right on the head. Main reason why I'm plotting an escape...DC grows on you but I must say I have to give my male friends the dress code lecture before coming to visit...Otherwise we ladies are getting in anywhere and the guys are stuck at home...in their jeans! Mr. Outchea needs a blog stat!
this side of the mason-dixon on the banks of the hudson and east rivers, we rock suits. but not with ties lol. unless, of course, you work on wall street. otherwise, aren't ties played out? lol. my dudes from nyc, when we're in DC let's let our empire state-status gleam - crispy grey, black, dark blue suits with crispy white shirts two-buttons open. we'll leave all that uber-proper ish to the black bourgiosie lol.
@joel you will be standing outside in the cold in DC. do not try that NYC swag down there.
media badges mean nothing there. NOTHING.
"Right when we pulled up to my house, I was like. "All that gas, money at The Diner, and here we are back at the crib with nada."
My boy thinks for a minute, looks at me and says, "I know right, maybe we shoulda rocked suits."
BWAHahahahahahahahaaaaa!!!!! Whoooooo!
I dont know why Im laughing, I didnt do anything for CBC anyways.
L
@chiefy: so wait, you HAVE to wear a tie to get in DC clubs?? you're kidding, right??
As a DC resident (Midwest transplant), the bougie factor has indeed gone exponential. I refuse...REFUSE...to wear a suit to go to a club. Ain't happenin.
Look you can walk into LOVE, the Park, etc. as long as you have on dress shoes and a nice button down. The rest is dressing for...someone...I'onno.
I'm in a monkey suit 5 days a week by force...why would I put one on again by choice.
I love it. Realest blog post i've read in ages, no joke. I'l be back.
damn, this isn't even your blog. Belle, PLEASE have this person back.
@dames
there are a few more outchea adventures. just type "outchea" into the search engine.
i keep telling dude to get a blog. his following would be huge. he just won't.
LOL! I read this thinking that I was the girl on the other end of this conversation until I saw the part about leaving w/ the guys (I live in DC now.). But seriously. Apparently all women from Philly have that same attitude, that same approach; and EVERY man I talk to down here says "You're not from here, are you..." LOL.
Speaking as a born and bred Philly jawn - that exchange seemed about right. We can be *quite* direct. She probably really was just curious about the toothpick, and asking why he wants to know before answering - classic Philly. :)
ROTFL, as a Haitian living in DC, I think the analogy above is perfect!