Personally,the only contraceptive I use is the male condom, so I wouldn't ask my BF to help pay for BC pills. Also, wouldn't it be weird to ask a guy to help for YOUR BCs if you're not married or in a serious relationship with the guy?

there are many things its reasonable to go half on but having your man pay $5 of the $10/month for birth control is trifflin'. my fertility and birth control issues are my responsibility.

I thought I heard it all. Well... I think asking a guy to pay half on BC opens the door to a tit for tat relationship where everybody is tabulating financial equity. No, I wouldn't do it because I consider that part of MY health care expense.

I'm a modern woman, who believes in a lot of traditional values. I believe in chivalry, I believe that it should be an OPTION for the woman to pay for dates (not a requirement or expectation), I don't buy drinks for guys, I don't believe in going dutch on a date and I believe that if I were to ask a guy to go half on the BC he would be within his right to ask me to go half on the date, and I just don't roll like that.

Oh and let me add-- i gotta question the relationship values of someone who feels like they need to ask their dude to pay for half of the BC... that's... that's borderline like... well... that gets into a "direct linkage of money to sex" slippery slope.

Am I the only one who finds "And you take all the tests to make sure both of you are straight" very very very disturbing?

I can see the ideology behind a man helping a woman pay for BC if they are in a committed relationship. But personally, I'd continue to pay for my BC because I feel like it's my responsibility. However, if my bf offered to pay for/pay half of it, then I'd let him since he offered.

When BC is $50 a month over a ear that adds up to $600. If your in a committed relationship I don't see the problem with you asking your partner to help with that expense at it is definitely not unreasonable. If you don't believe in half can he help out a few months out the year? Something?

Also, a condom should be used to prevent STD's not pregnancy. Out of every 100 women who use condoms correctly, 20 of them will still get pregnant. FACT

B

Personally, I feel like birth control is something I take for myself. I don't expect my boyfriend to pay for it, nor would I ever ask him to. With that being said, if I was in a position where I couldn't afford it or just wanted him to contribute, he would do it without giving it a second thought.

The best thing you could do is ask him what his views are on the topic.

When BC is $50 a month over a ear that adds up to $600. If your in a committed relationship I don't see the problem with you asking your partner to help with that expense at it is definitely not unreasonable.

So with that logic, should the woman pay for half the expenses of dating/going out (which arguably would be more than $600 a year unless he's cheap).

@elena

no.. i get that "straight" before sex occurs. condom, or not.

B-- I don't know where you get your "facts," but this is the reigning stat on the effectiveness of condoms:

"In one year, only two of every 100 couples who use condoms consistently and correctly will experience an unintended pregnancy - two pregnancies arising from an estimated 8,300 acts of sexual intercourse, for a 0.02 percent per-condom pregnancy rate.

"When condoms are used consistently and correctly they have a very high [pregnancy] prevention rate -- between 97% and 99%. But they must be used "consistently and correctly" in order to be this effective."

SOURCE: consumerhealthdigest.com

But they must be used "consistently and correctly" in order to be this effective."

Birth control stats usually have two numbers-- perfect use and typical use. Under typical use (which translates into "what actually happens in real life, on average") condoms have a much higher failure rate

>>>>"Under typical use (which translates into "what actually happens in real life, on average") condoms have a much higher failure rate"<<<<

"The pregnancy rate during typical use can be much higher (10-14%) than for perfect use, but this is due primarily to inconsistent and incorrect use, not to condom failure. Condom failure – the device breaking or slipping off completely during intercourse – is uncommon."

condoms are pretty reliable.

if you don't know how to use a condom, you shouldn't be having sex. PERIOD.

if you don't want to get pregnant/ catch an STD or HIV and you use condoms inconsistently, you're just being stupid.

I don't see how a single man should be obligated to pay for a woman's contraceptives. That decision ought to be left to the man alone.

I imagine that only a woman with an unwillingness or inability to pay would ask such a question...in which case she ought to consider other alternatives.

I agree that it is extremely rare for properly used latex condom to fail -- this has been researched enough that it doesn't warrant debate. Also, condoms are the most reliable contraceptives when they used properly. Only medical procedures and abstinence are 100% effective against pregnancy.

if you don't know how to use a condom, you shouldn't be having sex. PERIOD.

if you don't want to get pregnant/ catch an STD or HIV and you use condoms inconsistently, you're just being stupid.

Hey, hey... I can understand that for some people, condoms are their method of choice. Other people (like the emailer) prefer hormonal BC as a method.

They feel that they have eliminated the STD risks through testing and (presumed) monogamy so now their only issue is pregnancy.

So gotcha that condoms are for you, but pills/depo/IUD, whatever, are for some other women and that's perfectly fine.

However, I don't think people who use condoms inconsistently or incorrectly are stupid. People are human... women miss pills... miscalculate periods and miss regularity of depo shots, forget to change pacthes on the correct day... To act as though you should use it perfectly or you're stupid is just to ignore human nature.

I'm not excusing it either, but come on.

I'm on the pill and I always use a condom because 99% is not enough for me. I need a safety net.lol.

As far as the dilemma at hand, asking a man to help pay for my birth control pills, it depends on the relationship. If we're at the point in our relationship where we're sharing expenses, and my birth control pills are an expense that I'm finding I cannot cover on my own, then the conversation sounds something like, "we've agreed we don't want children right now, so if we stop using condoms we should invest in other forms of contraception. Otherwise, we really will have money issues when we have a baby."

If we're not at the point where we're sharing expenses, I think asking the guy I'm dating to contribute to my birth control is just rude. When it comes to dating and giving/getting money, my rule of thumb is this: if I wouldn't appreciate receiving it as a gift, he shouldn't be giving me money for it. Maybe it's just me, but I would be too through if a man gave me birth control pills as a gift.

Actually, what I should say is, if it's not appropriate to give as a gift, he shouldn't be giving me money for it. (I don't appreciate getting inappropriate gifts.)

Before my ex I wasn't having sex (virgin) so I needed nothing...he suggested I go on it (esp. since we never used condoms properly) and when I realized it would be an extra $50 a month expense...(just out of college and well under paid) I asked him if I was to go on it would he pay for it....fastest response (well verbal) that I ever received from him...YES!

Thanks for clearing up the condom stats Belle. I almost had a fit when I read that 20/100 end in pregnancy. There's already way too much bad information put out there.

If the only reason I go on BC is because he no longer wants to wear condoms, then he needs to support that -- but if it's something I choose to do for other reasons/was already doing... then I don't think I'd ask him to chip in, but I wouldn't say no if he offered.

Most guys I know typically don't trust females to actually take the pill (too many horror stories of guys who have kids by women who said they were on the pill) and so they're wrapping it up regardless.

I think the bigger question is why in the world is BCP going up to $50 a month?
Is that the price for people without insurance? I'm so confused...I've never even paid HALF of that amount.

And no...I would never ask my BF to cover half of that expense even if I was married.
Just the thought of me needing to split the cost on 50 bucks makes my brows furrow.

"Am I the only one who finds "And you take all the tests to make sure both of you are straight" very very very disturbing?"

This comment puzzled me...What's disturbing about that statement?

I think it's fine to ask for half depending on your relationship. If you are in a situation where the 2 of you are mature and have open lines of communication I think it's worth throwing out there..if nothing else- for debate's sake....My SO and I have conversations like this all time and he willingly goes 1/2 if not 100% on alot of things as do I...

@South Loop Social Light
I believe that you have a poor argument when you compare preventing and unwanted pregnancy to dinner and dancing. I am not referring to a random guy that you are sleeping with to help pay for birth control. I am referring to people who are in committed, log last relationships. People who have sex several times a week and depend on birth control to prevent pregnancy.

@Belle
I am so happy that condoms have been the answer for you. But I don't believe that you should tell your readership that condoms are the best way to prevent unwanted pregnancy. You are correct when you say that studies show that when a condom is used CORRECTLY that its 97% effective - still leave 3% of women hanging.

But what is the real issue is when condoms are not used correctly they are only 80-85% effective! and that is HUGE(planned parenthood estimates this number to be as low as 75%). That can include any of the following:

- Condom breakage or splitting.
- The condom slips off.
- The condom is damaged, for example, by a sharp fingernail.
- Contact between the penis and the vagina before the condom is put on.
- The use of oil-based products or lotions. These may damage a latex condom.
- Exposure to heat, such as occurs when stored in a wallet for long periods of time.
- Using a condom after its expiration date.

When a condom is not used CORRECTLY, people usually don't find out till a missed period. My OBGYN does not play the condom game and recommends both condoms and some other source of birth control.

Everyone should do what they feel must comfortable with but the next time you see a girl with an unwanted pregnancy don't just ASSUME that she did not use a condom.

Also, another thing to remember is how these numbers are calculated:

If you take 100 sexually active women and all of them use condoms correctly for one year, 3 will become pregnant, on average.

This is a survey... what it does not tell you is:

1. How often these women had sex
2. How many women actually took the survey
3. How old these women are
4. This survey says with correct usage not actual usage