The F-Word (no, the other one.)
Tuesday, November 10, 2009 at 12:29AM
I was reading “’Precious' and the Pushback”over on TheRoot.com where writer Alicia Villarosa decided to blast the heroine of Precious, Gabourey Sidibe, a 5’2, 300+ lb actress, on the day the film premiered, for being fat. Skip the Oscar-buzz and all the raves (and rants too) about a newcomer’s performance. Villarosa wanted to focus on more important matters (insert sarcasm here), like the Sidibe’s waistline. To hell with the themes of abuse— sexual, physical and verbal. To hell with portraying a multi-dimensional woman who [insert story arch here]. Villarosa made the young actress a living, huffing example of another problem high on the list of problems in the Black community: obesity.
Sigh.
The piece was clearly written for attention. But admittedly, obesity in the Black community needs more attention paid to it, as 78% of Black women are considered overweight, and 50% are considered obese. (Nevermind that the "ideal weight" doesn't account for the natural curves of most Black women.) Like the Rihanna 20/20 interview, I respect the message, but not the timing.
What I’m more concerned about is the way Villarosa goes in on a fat chick with lines like: “One person’s Lusciously Large Lady is another’s Disgusting Fat Pig.”
Really?
She seemed appalled, after reading a New York magazine interview with Gabby where the writer described the actress as “a confident, well-adjusted 25-year-old with a positive body image and no shortage of self-esteem.” Villarosa clapped back with:
Are people delusional? A five-foot-something woman tipping the scales at over 300 pounds is not something to celebrate. That’s SUPER fat
She goes on to wonder why do some people celebrate clinical obesity?
A commenter on her post suggested the same:
“The glorification of BBW's has to stop. I'd put this in the same category as the black community's glorification of 'thugs' and prison culture. All of these are self destructive short and long term and neither does anything to promote a healthy community.”
Hmm. Really? Do we as a community celebrate obesity? I think We The Black People celebrate a cute face, little waist, big booty, thighs, and boobs (in that order of importance.) I think there’s a higher portion of men who are more than good with thick-er chicks, even those who are thick in the waist. But en masse, I don’t see Black men or women aspiring to have or be a woman of Gabby’s size. More like, if you are that size, it is what it is. We don’t celebrate it, but we don’t shun it either. I think that’s actually a plus.
I don’t know nary a big girl who isn’t aware of her size and isn’t on some sort of diet plan from all grapefruit diets to Master Cleanses for 30-days at a time to working out every single day rain, sleet, hail snow. Big girls know they’re big girls. But in the midst of whatever workout plan their on, they usually, like most Black women, manage to keep a ‘do, an outfit together and have a personality, not because they’re compensating for something. But because there’s no reason to walk around being miserable 24/7 because you’re not happy with one aspect of yourself.
I resent Villarosa’s disbelief that big and beautiful can go hand in hand. What are big girls supposed to do? Mope around, flaunting their misery, day in and out, on red carpets and in interviews, no less, as if their size is the only thing that matters. Just because it may be the end all, be all to Villarosa and her elk, doesn’t mean it’s all there is to someone who carries the weight around (which is half the point of Precious.) And it doesn't mean that they don't deserve a heroine who looks like them.
Something else I noticed reading Villarosa’s article and comments. Fat is like the last acceptable discrimination. Ask Isaiah Washington and Larry Johnson about the other f-word and the reaction that gets. Ask Mel Gibson how far saying wild ish about Jews will take you. Ask Don Imus where talking about Black women will get you (that’s actually a bad example. That little quip about “nappy-headed hoes” revitalized his career, but initially, he was in hot water.) Say the n-word, even if you’re Black and watch hell’s wrath come forth (Hey Jesse!) But fat? No reprecussions. People don’t even think about holding back— not even on The Root.com, a site largely made of intellectual types.
From the comments:
“[Fat] is a choice, a very inconsiderate and rude one, to be deliberately fat. It is not attractive, and you are not wonderful just the way you are.”
It’s inconsiderate and rude? How is someone else’s fat inconsiderate and rude? How did their fat become something personal and offensive to whomever views it?
And another:
“People like this "Precious" thing are an absolute joke and a complete waste.”
She is now a “thing?”
And another:
“People that are overweight are just simply lazy, unmotivated slobs that eat like pigs and never exercise. Anyone that thinks that being fat is where it is at is only trying to cover up their pitiful and laughable appearance.”
Really?
How is this still acceptable? And why does fat inspire such a visceral reaction in folks? Curiosity, I get. Anger? I don’t.
Discuss.
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Reader Comments (40)
wow!
.. pretty much all i can come up with
O-M-G did she really say the black community glorifies BBMs. Ummm no we do not, although I’m considered a latina, (I look black). The black community, latin community does not, nor will not ever think it is great to be severely overweight. I believe overweight females, have no other choice but exist in this world. Why they look the way they do is something they have to deal with. And like you said, why not be a confident individual in your own skin. I'm sure Villarosa, loves the way she looks, and embraces all her flaws.
I have a better question, is Gabby’s weight going to overshadow her performance in the movie? I saw the movie twice, (it was that good) and she did the damn thing. Yes, she is very big, but that is not my business. I don't care what, or why made her that way. All I want to know is what is next for her? And if she does decide to do something about her weight, she does it safely.
I'm not overweight, and I love to eat, but I learned to control it. Key words “my choice” or my preference. I do notice that being a black person on this planet, you can not attain greatness. Our world is more then cruel, we will pick you apart as to why you are "not so great". Try to break you down to feel like the bottom of the earth. This is horrible, please let that girl be. She is not glorifying being a big girl. She just happens to be the girl that was the best person for the part. (PERIOD) She played the hell out of the role, and deserves any accolade she receives.
I read this article last week and was appalled at some of the content. She certainly exaggerated the point with "GAG" and the other examples Belle used. Gaby is the first overweight lead we've seen in a film with such support and hype behind it. So when we have 5 films released in a month, or even a year with the same, then we can talk about glorification/celebration. And I find it curious that there was no mention of Monique or Oprah who are major players with this film and also technically overweight. Because we already know their struggles and successes with weightloss, Allison decided to leave them out of this article. Considering Oprah was picked to play Sophia because of how she LOOKED, this attack on Gaby was out of line.
Being vocal about the dislike of fat or obese people is accepted because a majority of people think fat people solely choose to be fat and are doing nothing about it. They are seen as lacking self-control. And its also about excess. When an overweight person is out and about, people are disgusted because they think that person is taking more than their fare share -of food, of space on the subway/bus (rudeness at play here), etc. While many times it is about choice, others are health related and there's no way to know the difference in someone's struggle without knowing them personally.
Belle mentions she doesn't know a big girl who isn't trying to lose weight and I will say I definitely see the opposite too. Because obesity (especially childhood obesity) is so rampant in our community, especially lower income areas, I tend to glance in people's shopping carts while at the grocery store. Not out of my way to be nosy, but I observe what people of all sizes pick up. And I can't tell you how many overweight mom's I've seen with overweight children grabbing the most sugary cereals and drinks, pre-processed meats and frozen dinners, dessert and not a stitch of fresh produce. And the women I see aren't always put together, wearing too small clothes, instead of wearing their size. I'm offended if I see more skin showing than what the outfit was designed for, but it holds true for me no matter the size of the person. There is a difference in "thick" and "fat" and "obese." Would I like to be a little thicker in some areas, yes please, but I have no desire to be fat or obese. There is such a detriment to the body at that point. Its not beneficial in any way. Certain people may be attracted to fat vs. thin, but it doesn't make it any healthier. I prefer that we all in general just try to lead the healthiest/happiest life we can, not only in relation to food. But I'm not going to call anyone out if they aren't.
Unfortunately people think you can shame someone into losing weight a la the article mentioned. But it doesn't work that way for fat people just like it doesn't work that way for anything else really. Overweight issues were rampant in my family for many years until my relatives started accumulating medications and doctors visits to combat their poor choices. Changed their whole way of eating. People have to do it for themselves, and we have to allow them to do that.
I have to echo the first commenter who said "WOW". I'm shocked and offended by the quotes you cited in this post and I am not a big girl by any stretch of the imagination.
Sounds to me like Ms. Villarosa is mad that the big girl had the audacity to go out and accomplish something in her life. If I had read her article (which I now refuse to do), my comment would be this: "Jealous, much?"
Also I have to point out that it's also more than acceptable in this society to discriminate against slim people. I would say even more so than discriminating against fat people. I've been both, and let me tell you people are much meaner to me as a size 2 than they were to me when I was heavier. And even the rare times that it did happen, I was at least "allowed" to be offended. Now if someone says something ignorant about my weight and I react to it, I'm the unreasonable one. Go figure.
Great post, as always Belle.
Hmmm…Although I do not agree with the way the author chose to write the piece (it is very condescending) and I also fail to see the relation with “Precious” weight and her performance, I am of similar opinion that obesity is a very huge problem.
I do not advocate weighing 300 pounds. Why? Because it is unhealthy. Positive self-image or no positive self-image, fact remains that weighing 300 pounds is unhealthy and anything that is that unhealthy should never go hand in hand with the phrase “it is what it is”
The same goes for smoking 3 packs of cigarettes a day or extensively using drugs.
I don’t know nary a big girl who isn’t aware of her size and isn’t on some sort of diet plan from all grapefruit diets to Master Cleanses for 30-days at a time to working out every single day rain, sleet, hail snow.
This is exactly the problem; taking extreme measures like 30-day grapefruit diets, while working out in hail snow. More attention needs to be brought to healthy eating and eating unhealthy foods in moderation. This way you wouldn’t need these crazy diets and work out regimes to begin with.
If obese people were truly happy and comfortable with their weight, why go on a diet in the first place? Obesity can come with a lot of inconveniences and hazards. It might be more difficult to engage in sports or even walk for longer periods of time and is connected with a lot of other health related issues.
I think it is very important that society provides information to parents, schools etc. on how to eat responsibly and obese people should definitely be encouraged (albeit in a positive way) to decrease their weight to a level that is more salubrious.
*** When referring to obese people I am not referring to people who have healthy curves nor to everyone being a size 36.
I read the article a few days back and just from the title I said "here we go." I thought the article was tasteless. Obesity is definitely not celebrated and Michelle Obama is trying to tackle the subject by encouraging children to develop healthier eating habits that they will carry into adulthood (kudso to her). No matter how intellectually, financially or socially progressive we are, some people still cannot feel good about themselves unless they have an underclass to be better than. People can't (or won't) praise themselves or accept the skin their in until they can say "well at least I'm not like..." I call it searching for the -er. Good isn't really good unleess you're bett-er, smart-er, fast-er, pretti-er, or slim-er than someone else. Its sad that we can't just be happy in our own right.
@aya
>>>Belle mentions she doesn't know a big girl who isn't trying to lose weight and I will say I definitely see the opposite too. Because obesity (especially childhood obesity) is so rampant in our community, especially lower income areas, <<
point taken, especially on the anecdotes given. there is a "class" division when it comes to the acceptance and tolerance of obesity, hence why some big girls are happy and starving and others don't register it as a problem.
you can't convince me that Villarosa's loathing for Gabby's waistline (and Gabby's self-confidence "despite" such) doesn't have something to do with class associations that too often come with being fat and dark skinned in America.
>>>This is exactly the problem; taking extreme measures like 30-day grapefruit diets, while working out in hail snow. More attention needs to be brought to healthy eating and eating unhealthy foods in moderation. This way you wouldn’t need these crazy diets and work out regimes to begin with.
If obese people were truly happy and comfortable with their weight, why go on a diet in the first place? Obesity can come with a lot of inconveniences and hazards. It might be more difficult to engage in sports or even walk for longer periods of time and is connected with a lot of other health related issues.<<<
i think the extreme measures are 1) a lack of information on how to loose the right way: 2) a reaction to other people's loathing of their weight, which is often obvious and vocal as seen above. they're trying to get rid of what's "wrong" with themselves. i agree that folks, in general, need to be re-educated about what is healthy.
i don't think most obese people are "comfortable" but I also don't think writing essays, most likely to the choir, is the way to "fix" what ails them. i also don't think anyone en masse really advocates 300lbs on a woman's frame and most know it's unhealthy. if they haven't been taught it at home, or they feel it going up the steps. That's why I didn't get Villarosa's point about the "glorification" of being obese. Who's glorifying it.
"it is what it is" because what am I supposed to do about another person's weight? Someone else's weight is someone else's issue (or not). I don't internalize their choices. it's not like they don't know their overweight so I have to point it out. if they're happy, what logical choice is there for me to do than shrug and move on?
re: the title...more like "the other other one" lol.. I thought this was going to be a post about gay people.
""And I can't tell you how many overweight mom's I've seen with overweight children grabbing the most sugary cereals and drinks, pre-processed meats and frozen dinners, dessert and not a stitch of fresh produce""
This I completely agree with. IMO, black people don't glorify obesity, we appreciate more curves than others, but that appreciation can get out of control. I live in a racially diverse neighborhood, for example, and see 99.999% of the joggers are white, while the chinese food store is always 99.9999% black.
""Also I have to point out that it's also more than acceptable in this society to discriminate against slim people. I would say even more so than discriminating against fat people. I've been both, and let me tell you people are much meaner to me as a size 2 than they were to me when I was heavier""
This is the truth! While Villarosa blogged behind a computer about Gabby, people have no problem walking up to a me at size 2 with whatever skinny, boney, 'do you eat?', Olive Oyle (from Popeye) comment that falls out of their mouths. I understand the reasons behind it, but everyone gets some form of discrimination.
All in all, Villarosa was looking for attention like Belle said, and she got it.
i think that piece was written with a twinge of hate. i think that america in general needs to be more weight conscious, but for our own health reasons... and that's precisely the reason that michelle obama is on the weight-loss kick, because it is such a problem. my husband, who is a latino, holds the theory that fat girls waste their time trying to look pretty, because they're fat... and all the time they spent trying to look pretty, they could have been at the gym working out. however, i believe that some people's body type will never allow them to be thin.
it's good to have curves, because women are supposed to. those stick thin girls without curves are just as dis-pleasing to me as an obese person, where you can't see the cruves because they're coverd by fat. beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and i think it's important for everyone to have a positive self image.
The message of Alicia Villarosa I somewhat agree with. However, the language she uses is out right disgusting. Yes, I think the black community needs to discuss obesity more seriously. Yes, recently there has been the "I'm big and I'm fine just the way I am" movement. However, no human being deserves to be spoken about in a way that is frankily subhuman.
I think Villarosa tries too hard to simplify the issue into a quick fix it, when the problem is much more complex than we let on.
Everything that I wanted to say has been said, but I do want to make a comment about overweight low income moms buying processed food. one answer: it's cheaper. And that's my knock on Michelle Obama. She wants everyone to buy fresh (organic if possible?? wtf?), and eat otherwise healthfully but she's not taking cost into account nor is she taking into account the time or education it takes to prepare healthy meals. Until the first lady introduces some sort of program or something that makes making healthy choices easier to me she's just parading around gardens looking like a fool and possibly making the problem worse by making her eating lifestyle look easier to achieve than it actually is. For a long time, before I read up on nutrition and diet, I thought I WAS making healthy food choices, I was shocked when I found out that 1. I wasn't and 2. my caloric intake needed to be MUCH lower than I previous thought.
Good post, Belle. For the commenters angry at Ms. Villarosa, you may not be as upset after reading the article in its entirety. She actually rails against the celebration of underweight images as well. Honestly, Im not sure how the star of "Precious" even fits into her piece. It seems she really just wanted to talk about body image and hi-jacked Gabby for the attention it'd garner.
What's really disgusting are the ass-ignorant commenters. How can anyone be THIS angry with overweight ppl? Assuming that all overweight people are large because they overeat and are lazy (untrue) how is that more inconsiderate than people who drink alcohol, eat too much saturated fat and stay skinny or emotional people who work themselves up into high pressure? Arent all these people a major drag on the cost of healthcare? (I assume that's what the "inconsiderate and rude" commenter was referencing) It pisses me off that all these cowards are comfortable being 20+ year-old high school bullies, picking on the fat kids to exert the power they lack elsewhere.
P.S. I am an athlete and a self-proclaimed gym rat. I'd bet money most of these angry commenters who think they're in such great shape wouldnt last ten minutes conditioning with me.
This is where we see it differently. Just because everyone else’s issues are not your issues doesn’t mean you can’t have an opinion about them or encourage changing those issues.
I don’t get slapped in my home either, yet I have a very strong opinion about domestic violence and would encourage anyone in my close circle, who suffers from DV to seek help.
Sure, I am not going to stand in the streets every Saturday afternoon handing out leaflets about DV nor losing 50 pounds in the healthiest way, but I also do not shrug my shoulder at every obese person thinking if you’re happy, then I am happy, because I do feel it is more important than that.
Obesity cannot be compared to wearing a pair of orange trainers with purple pants at a black tie event…you might be ridiculed or frowned upon but yea that’s your business.
"You know who my favorite women are?
Big, fat, black women.
Fat, black women
don't give a fuck what you think.
She's going out on Friday night.
She got an outfit on. That shit match.
She got the pumps on,
and the pump fat coming out the pump.
That's right. lt looks like
they baking bread in her shoe." - Chris Rock
Best commentary about BBW ever.
My sister is what many would consider obese.
Always has been, even as a baby. We grew up in the same household, ate the same types of food, were active in the same events (she was on the dance team in middle and high school)...and she just stayed big. Genetics really do play a large part in terms of dealing with people's weight.
I think growing up she had some issues with it but as she's gotten older, she's a BAD BITCH! Has a nice job, keeps her shit together, and stays having a man (something her "skinny" older sister couldn't do if she tried...)
Is obesity a problem in our community? Yes. But at the end of the day, if people are happy with themselves, that's what matters.
I know a bunch of skinny people who have just as many, if not more, health issues than my sister ever did...
I don't feel the timing was right to bring up issues with obesity in the black community... but I do feel that her body type makes people question if she's healthy. Everyone is allowed to have their own views of beauty, but I think everyone should try to live a healthy lifestyle at whatever size they may be. However, 300 lbs has never seemed healthy to me. I feel like "Precious" is a great movie and nothing should be taken away from it... but nobody should be surprised that this issue came up.
>>That's why I didn't get Villarosa's point about the "glorification" of being obese. Who's glorifying it.<<
I don't think anyone actually glorifies it, but there are some women who (I believe) celebrate it as an attempt to deflect from whatever negativity is usually associated with obesity.
Star Jones (pre gastric with her constantly describing herself as thick instead of obese)
Monique and Monique's Fat Chance
I can't come up with lots of examples, but I can say that some of the ones that were prominent in media were so prominent as to spread a misconception that it's OKAY with black women because many black men prefer it.
Sherri Shepherd has a little bit of that problem too. Her and Star were both on the show glorifying unhealthy foods like fried chicken and mac and cheese. And yes I know these are two people from a daytime talk show, however, that daytime show has HUGE audience. HUGE.
So I don't think that as a society we celebrate obesity, but there are prominent, outspoken women in the mainstream media that give the impression that their level of excess weight is perfectly fine in the black community. And they just so happen to have talk shows.
And I know some people who personally believe Oprah is BS-ing about her thyroid problem using it as a cop out to her inability to deal with her food issues.
So while I don't necessarily see people glorifying it, I have seen fat become the new thick and obese become the new fat, as people don't want to admit the truth about their excess weight. And it avoids honest conversations about weight and health.
I am apalled and disgusted that there are people out there who think of others this way.
folk can be really mean, while being obese is unheathy etc there is no need to be cruel about it..I don;t think black folk celebrate obesity either, I think fitness just takes a back seat alot of time to whatever else may be going on in a persons life that is over weight etc the person has to make a strong commitment to fitness and health abd be bout the action behind the mental commitment...but still there is no need for this woman to go in on folk esp the actress..motivate folk to be healthier sure but be kind also
While I do not think we need to bash obese people in our community, we should not celebrate it. It is for our own health...While you may know an example of an overweight person being healthy but on average, extra weight means extra problems as far as your overall health is concerned. We need to embrace and internalize this message. There is nothing cute about obesity.
I come of a family of severely overweight people with diabetes, high blood pressure and the whole "metabolic syndrome" affecting our community, but I work very hard to stay in shape and avoid these pitfalls. I made the decision long ago that I did not want to be like the others in my family; therefore, I work on it every single day. Some in my family tease me about the food choices I make vs. encouraging me. I say to them "boy, we have some effed up priorities" because they should celebrate my choice to live healthy.
There are always cheap, healthy food choices...For example, dried beans are healthy and cheap...Sweet potatos are cheap. A baked potato is good for you if you do not add all the junk to it and eat the skin. You can choose to bake your chicken vs. frying it. Pass by fast food restaurants because mostly, there is nothing good in them. These are easy choices that it does not take rocket science to figure out...
Damn, it's tough because I agree with every side of this issue. Everybody's point intertwines into the reality that is. And that's why people are simply saying "It is what it is". I agree most with the posts by ChitChat, Peyso, and Grown.
I know more than a few big dudes (hefty appearence) that are in significantly better shape than me. (I'm 6'1.185 lbs and have a muscular build). Genetics are more powerful than most people can even imagine. I have cousins that are are so incredibly small in stature that if they reluinquished all care and ate like a person with a disorder (or as most people would say, "like a fat ass") for years they would probably gain little more than a pop belly and maybe 15 pounds. All bodies are not created equal, and that's the "it is what it is" factor. You can't shrink your bones....Period! So stop trying to act holier than thou because you have a small bone structure (or even worse an average and shapely bone structure) and a higher metabolism due to your genetics. Nothing is as simple as all or most fat people eat too much or eat the wrong things and skinny people do the opposite. It would help if it was this simple, but it isn't.
At the same time though....Too many people act as though they can't control their weight at all, and subsequently eat what they feel like eating. It's no secret at this point that bad foods are cheap, but that's not a good enough excuse for how some people shop for foods. More importantly it's no excuse for not sitting your ass down and researching how to lose weight the right way. Besides, fruits are a start and they ARE NOT expensive. Learning the difference between good calories and bad calories is PRICELESS (aka free). Oatmeal is cheap. Collard Greens are cheap. WATER IS FREE!!!! Let me repeat that WATER IS FREE!!!! Do u realize how many calories are in soda, juice, kool-aid, and whatever other soft drink you opt to drink as opposed to water?! There are changes that people look right past because of the taste they feel like they'd be missing. The same way so many women talk about how easy it is to commit to a monogamous relationship without feeling like they're missing out on something, they should do the same as it relates to food and water. There are markets that sell fresh fruits and vegetables in just about every city (although not always in the lower income areas). It's not easy to follow certain rules that you should set for yourself if you wish to get your weight under control, but it's more than possible. There are too many stories I know personally of people remaining focused and methodical and losing 70-140 pounds for me to believe that big people are doomed to a life of lard just because it's harder for them than other people. But people need to lay off of these people cause 9 times out of 10 you have NO IDEA what they're going through or how their body works.
"There are always cheap, healthy food choices...For example, dried beans are healthy and cheap...Sweet potatos are cheap. A baked potato is good for you if you do not add all the junk to it and eat the skin. You can choose to bake your chicken vs. frying it. Pass by fast food restaurants because mostly, there is nothing good in them. These are easy choices that it does not take rocket science to figure out..."
co-sign 100%. I defend large people wholeheartedly, but I'm not a fan of excuses, so as long as you're making all the right moves to improve your physical condition I'm rooting for you all. Everybody has something personal they have to deal with. Every year thousands of people conquer obesity and become tenacious and inspiring human beings because of what they learn about themselves and human health in the process. Who's to say you can't be the next ;)
Not only are sweet potatoes cheap and VERY HEALTHY but they tastes great! Put some brown sugar/cinammon on em and grub out!
""Everything that I wanted to say has been said, but I do want to make a comment about overweight low income moms buying processed food. one answer: it's cheaper. And that's my knock on Michelle Obama. She wants everyone to buy fresh (organic if possible?? wtf?), and eat otherwise healthfully but she's not taking cost into account nor is she taking into account the time or education it takes to prepare healthy meals.""
Jdanielle.....This is an excuse. I see low income kids/people with Uggs, Ipods, Blackberrys, x Boxes, fresh micros, etc. They can find a way to get these things yet they are forced to eat cheese twists and hug juices for dinner? I;m not saying they have to be in Whole Foods every week, but parents can feed kids healthy food. Would it kill them do walk to a store or ride a bike? I do it. If you have online access, there're sites like foodnetwork.com and epicurious..com where you can search for recipes. If not, I think libraries still exist. Several dollars could be saved by just stop buying sodas and cupcakes and the like. We even had a small garden when we were kids, so its hardly a huge sacrifice for parents and even if it were, its the health of your kids at stake.