My friend moved to NYC last year with no job lined up. She just fell in love with the city when she visited a couple of months prior. I admire her courage. I "lived" in NYC for one summer. Had the time of my LIFE. It still is the best summer of my life...to date. But that last week I was there--broke, and waiting on my refund check from school (which I wouldn't have gotten if I hadn't taken out a loan to be in New York)--gave me a huge reality check. Was I willing to do this for my "dream"? I wasn't so sure. And the answer turned out to be "no."

Sometimes I'm still a little envious of people who have the courage to rough it. Why did I have to be a spoiled princess, lol? But part of the purpose of an internship is to give you an idea about what it will be like. I saw, and I decided to go the other way.

I'm a girl with many dreams. And the really important ones have nothing to do with careers at all: build lasting relationships, become an expert traveler and immerse myself in culture. Then there's music. :) So like the 'kast song, I've had to "reroute my dreams." Plus, it's always nice when someone from the Midwest can make it without traveling to one of the coasts. :-p So the story continues...

Thanks for this post. I kinda went to church in your comments! I'm glad everything worked out the way you envisioned, though.

i was born and raised in new york and you couldn't pay me to move back. it's a quality of life issue. glad things worked out for you belle.

Moving to NYC takes a lot of courage. This was me 2 years ago. I wanted it so bad! No sort of plan in place. All I knew is NY was where I needed to be. And I needed to get there some way, somehow. I later figured it out. Now, I'm lovin the city. Visit home (DC) more than enough just to make sure I'm not missing anything (but my fam). I will always remember living/making it in the Big Apple.

Looking fwd to Part 2, Belle!

Nat :)

"i was born and raised in new york and you couldn't pay me to move back. it's a quality of life issue. glad things worked out for you belle."

EXACTLY THE WAY I FEEL!!!

I graduated from college in May 2008 and two months after wards, I ran to ATL. I have a degree in Marketing and wanted to work for a large agency in account management but I knew that I wouldn't be making top $$. However I needed to keep the lifestyle my mom had afforded me all those years so I couldn't stay in NYC any longer; 18 yrs was enough. I had seen the suburban promise land in RI for 4 yrs of school and I didn't want anything to do with NYC. I love that place, it will forever be my home in my heart but I'd rather keep my $$ in my pocket. Maybe I particularly don't care for the gentrification that is happening to my old neighborhood (Bed-Stuy) or the new NETS stadium that just got approved for Atlantic Yards. Better yet maybe a Realtor couldn't get me to rent 5 square for 1k a month.

I love NYC but to me ATL is better for me. A mix of city life and suburbia all mixed into 1.

Happy NYC has worked well for you Belle. :)

I LOVE NY! It is my home, I was born and lived there for the better part of 25 years.. However, like the other NYers on here I've decided to move to Atlanta... I miss my home but, I need peace of mind and clean streets to roam. Sometimes, I think of moving back because those bright lights oft call my name - then I realize that the rumbling of the subways, the dense smog, and overcrowding are no longer for me... New York City - there's a lot of beauty there! I often think that NY is the tip of the axis the world revolves on... Everyone at the very least knows someone who lives or has visited there...

O-M-G I've been patiently waiting for this post Belle.
Im a southern girl....raised in Atlanta. But for some reason i've always had an itch to move to NY! 3 years ago i dropped out of law school, packed two suitcases and moved to NY. My mom and everyone back home thought i had a job lined up when i got here, i didnt have the courage to tell them i only had an internship at a record company (Paying $0)!!! To this day i still cant explain how everything worked out, but it did. And i LOVE THIS CITY! of course there are times that i get home sick and i miss the very comfortable like that i had in atlanta. I also wonder if it makes any sense to pay "5 square for 1k a month" LOL
But i dont regret one minute of being in this city! The best feeling in the world is when my mom comes to visit me now and i can tell by the look on her face how proud she is of me.

I cant wait to read the rest of your story Belle!

Great first chapter Belle! I'm looking forward to the next one........

As a former NYer who lives in Atlanta *high fives other commenters* I just don't know if I can move back although I do toss around the idea of going when traffic backs up on 75/85.

I love NYC the same way Carrie does on SATC but her life is fiction and reality doesn't get you Manolo's and a Brownstone on the UES whilest raking in journalist wages.

And why do people keep citing "courage" as the necessary tool for NY survival? LOL!
King Kong doesn't really live there so I would say that courage is hardly the key to making it in NY.
What you need is Stamina and an I WILL NOT LOSE mentality!
Also try needing connections to get an apt., a good pair of walking shoes, a big bag to carry them in, a strong stomach for the subway rats, strong legs for walking, strong arms for carrying bags, heavy coats and snow boots in the winter, a good respiratory system, no qualms about sharing personal space, little need for privacy, a willingness to enjoy the festivites that NYC offers to make it ALL WORTH IT and it would be helpful to know some foreign languages because the city itself is like the United Nations.

I don't knock anyone for dreaming of moving there but I do think the Bright Lights are mostly clouding their vision. But to the hopefuls and starry-eyed, I'd suggest that you save up some money before you go (a couple thousand if possible), touch up your negotiating skills, learn to maximize your resources (basically become familiar with the library), become thick-skinned if not already and stay out of public disputes.

But I'm sure you will cover all of this and more Belle.....can't wait to read about the rest of your Adventures!

@ EQ-- you don't get the "courage" part b/c you're from NY. What you are born into, others have to work to attain. You're built to handle extraordinary adversity just by being raised in it. As all the ex-NYers commenting will attest, it's MUCH EASIER to live other places... like ATL.

It's also an incredibly courageous act to move from East Neverwhere to a city who's claim to legend fame is it's ability to chew people up and spit them out. That and your whole family is telling you not to move to "a filthy godforsaken city" (my dad's words)

>>>what you need is Stamina and an I WILL NOT LOSE mentality!<<<

I'll co-sign that all day.

I came from Chicago to NYC....been here for four years. I really love NYC and there are some characteristics about the city that makes me proud to live here BUT I will say that I do not see myself settling here. Things are going pretty well as far as my visions, which is what I came here for but I can't see myself settling here HOWEVER, I can't leave until I've fulfillled my goals.

*This made me chuckle*

"Also try needing connections to get an apt., a good pair of walking shoes, a big bag to carry them in, a strong stomach for the subway rats, strong legs for walking, strong arms for carrying bags, heavy coats and snow boots in the winter, a good respiratory system, no qualms about sharing personal space, little need for privacy, a willingness to enjoy the festivites that NYC offers to make it ALL WORTH IT and it would be helpful to know some foreign languages because the city itself is like the United Nations."

I hope that doesn't scare any hopefuls but EQ is right...

1st let me say, I loveeeeeeeeeeeee NYC with all my heart but I will not live like someone's peasant when I can live like a princess/queen down South. I seriously believe you need to make at least $150k to live "comfortably" and that's barely scraping by in the city.

I was born and raised in NY but now living in Houston and I miss my home for many reasons but none worth moving back for. NY has alot more 'transplant dwellers' and it's not a surprise because hey they want to live in the greatest city too lol....BUT for me having a roommate or paying $1500 a month for barely 650sq.ft studio is so not worth it. I get my NY fix when I visit about 3wks out of the year.

stats taken from Center for an Urban Future
A New Yorker would have to make $123,322 a year to have the same standard of living as someone making $50,000 in Houston.
In Manhattan, a $60,000 salary is equivalent to someone making $26,092 in Atlanta.
You knew it was expensive to live in Manhattan, but Queens? The report tagged Queens the fifth most expensive urban area in the country.
The average monthly rent in New York is $2,801, 53% higher than San Francisco, the second most expensive city in the country.

@Belle

How is it any different than leaving home at age 18 to go to college in another state? At least NYC offers you public transportation, endless entertainment, and resources to those that seek it. How much of that would you have if you left home to go to college anywhere else in the country? Courage maybe be needed but I don't think it's the driving force that determines your ultimate success in NYC. You even mentioned that you lived in "a luxury downtown one bedroom apartment" in NYC during school. That's hardly the norm of a college experience anywhere in the country.

But I must concede to you that I may in fact have a predisposed bias that I am unaware of... I'll need feedback from the commenters on that one.

@EQ You are soooooo bias. hahaha

It's natural as NYers we are bias to everything. We are centralist and believe that no one can top our city. We compare everything to NY. It took me 5 months to find pizza and Chinese food that was comparable to NY. I am such as critic of everything around me. Most of my sentences begin with "In NY..." As "transplants" ourselves to ATL from NY, we just have a bias that can't be explained.

"You even mentioned that you lived in "a luxury downtown one bedroom apartment" in NYC during school. That's hardly the norm of a college experience anywhere in the country."

Belle you are lucky. I have been inside of NYU dorms by South Street Seaport and I wanted to cry. My dorms in college were horrible!!! However, we were deep in the suburbs and the peace and quiet was great!!

"How is it any different than leaving home at age 18 to go to college in another state? At least NYC offers you public transportation, endless entertainment, and resources to those that seek it. How much of that would you have if you left home to go to college anywhere else in the country? Courage maybe be needed but I don't think it's the driving force that determines your ultimate success in NYC. You even mentioned that you lived in "a luxury downtown one bedroom apartment" in NYC during school. That's hardly the norm of a college experience anywhere in the country."

no other city you leave to go to has the reputation of eating you alive when you arrive. the pace at which people walk is literally faster. though the bark is often bigger than the bite, the rumors of the city until recently are a gangster's paradise where everyone screams "up yours," and throws up the finger to say good morning. just riding the subway — even in 2009 after the Disney-ification of the city— is still pretty courageous.

to leave NYC to go to college is to go, no matter where it is, somewhere slower, likely nicer, with more space and friendlier people. and on top of that, you take a hustle with you that you don't even know you had solely because even the most timid New Yorker is more demanding than the average person anywhere else when necessary.

i concede it takes courage to leave home, even if that is NYC.

courage isn't the driving force to stay here. i think you nailed it with the stamina argument. but to move here? courage. def.

the luxury apt building was actually NYU housing for grad students. it was like living in a hotel. i was appalled the first time I visited someone's apartment, and then appalled again, the first time I visited someone's parents' house. like your grown-up parents live in apt? where they do that at?

but we'll get to that later in the story.

@EQ now that you mention it...I tend to agree with you about the "courage" thing. It took me maybe two weeks to get over the shell shock of being in NYC, and then I hit the ground running! I experienced similar fright when I went away to college...a whole TWO HOURS away, lol. I guess it's all relative. I think NYCers have it pretty easy in that you can get EVERYTHING there. The subway takes you anywhere, there's always someone around and a new food spot to check out. I think it can be a much harder transition to go from easy accessibility to living in West Bubblef*ck Nowhere, where you don't have all the amenities.

Ahh...this one hit me.

I moved to NYC almost 3 years ago, after visiting a friend her for a weekend. I was in a place where I needed to steal away from everything, and NYC did that for me. It was my escape. I'm preparing to move again and unfortunately don't feel the same way about it as I did when I move here, but that has more to do with my current circumstance/place in life. I would advise almost anyone to try living here. NYC, if used properly, can broaden your horizons, make you tougher/more tolerant, and expose you to to many, positive things (and people). I will never regret the experience living here and I'm sure I'll be back, at least to visit (and eat!).

@ D*A*V*I*D*A - Funny, we share a very similar story.

I love this post, can't wait to hear more!

I just recently moved to NYC from Detroit in May of this year (yup, still newbie). I moved here w/ my boyfriend who was fortunate enough to get a job here. He's always wanted to move here and tried like hell to get a job after being laid off last year this time. When he got the job, he wanted me to come with him, but I must say that I wasn't too keen on the idea. I'm currently unemployed, so I didn't have anything holding me back (except leaving my fam, but I had left before, so no biggie).I just knew that NYC was going to be a big adjustment for me, so I was definitely nervous about it. Before I met him, I hadn't even visited NYC. But once we got together, we made 3 trips out to visit some of his friends that live here. My first visit, I was NOT feeling it, lol! I was just overwhelmed w/ all the people! But after my visit, someone told me that Manhattan is like that and if we went to the other boroughs, it wouldn't be that way. On our 2nd trip out, we visited a friend of mine in BK and I was like, ok, this is more like it. By our 3rd trip, I was more at ease with the idea of possibly moving here if he got a job. Well, on that 3rd trip, he got a call from a recruiter for a job in midtown. My bf just so happened to have a suit with him and interviewed for the job the next day of our trip. By the end of the trip, he had gotten the job (this was all within a week's time). He moved here (stayed with a friend) the following week. I moved the following month and the rest has been history.

So far, I'm in a love/hate relationship w/ the city. I was born and raised in Detroit where it doesn't even compare to a city like NYC. I've also lived in DC for a couple years and even DC doesn't compare to a city like NYC. I have to say that there's no place, that's I've seen thus far, like NYC. I've been to many major cities in the US and there's just something about NYC...the people, the hustle, the determination...you just don't see it everywhere. Everyone here is on a grind. Everyone is trying to make it. You see it on their faces and you feel it everywhere you go. It's an amazing city. But with that said, I miss a lot of the conveniences that I had when I lived in Detroit and in the suburbs. I miss having a car! Boy oh boy, do I miss that! And I miss just being able to feel like I can take my time and just shop or walk down the street at a casual pace and not feel like someone's gonna run me over lol! What can I say, I'm a midwestern girl that likes the option of going at a slower or faster pace when I please. In NYC, I feel like I HAVE to go at one pace: fast! It is what it is, I guess. My bf and I plan to get married and we do know that we plan to settle elsewhere. The amount of money it takes to live here is too much for us (the $ we pay in RENT could be a MORTGAGE) and we want to be able to get more for our money. NYC is great, but as I say to those that ask me how I like the city so far--"It's fun, but it's not for everyone".

"A New Yorker would have to make $123,322 a year to have the same standard of living as someone making $50,000 in Houston.
In Manhattan, a $60,000 salary is equivalent to someone making $26,092 in Atlanta. "

I always scoff at statistics like that. I live in Atlanta and have visited NYC several times. $26K in Atlanta is not getting you far. I know quite a few people that work in the $40K-$60K range in NYC and you know what.. they are making it just fine. They live in Harlem (in cute put-together apartments). They have a roommate. They have money for trips and new clothes (and one of my friends doesn't own a credit card, so we can't say they are racking up CC debt). I guess I'd have to live there to truly understand how far my $1 in NYC would go, but I just don't think it's that extreme. So you get a bigger home in Houston... unless you have kids do you really need a bunch of space?

I always scoff at statistics like that. I live in Atlanta and have visited NYC several times. $26K in Atlanta is not getting you far. I know quite a few people that work in the $40K-$60K range in NYC and you know what.. they are making it just fine.

@05girl
You just described two people with a total combined income of 80-120k sharing an apartment in Harlem and yet we are to understand that the statistics are off? If anything you just gave more credit to research study.
If one of your friends is pulling 40k - 60k in NYC that translates to 26k in Atlanta. At 26k in Atlanta you need a roommate as well.
And two people in Atlanta bringing in combined income of 52k and sharing an apartment should have enough money left over for clothing & expenditures. Similar to your NY friends' situation.

I'm confused as to why you doubt the stats'.

@ EQ i've never had a roommate. i've always lived decently here. and i only use credit for emergencies. most of my friends don't have roommates and they do okay. not balling, but a cute apartment, maybe a car, cute clothes, cute brunches, a bag or two here and there, some vacations ie, the lifestyle 05 described. you can't spend willy nilly, but like with most things, you budget and save and get what you want.

i will note, that most of my friends are in media/entertainment and a lot of the "lifestyle" that you have to pay for elsewhere is free to us. i haven't paid to see a concert or buy an album in years. i see most movies for free, never pay to get in clubs, and can drink for free somewhere swank most nights of the week. lifestyle tends to be a HUGE chunk of income.

there's also weird lifestyle trade-offs here. 24 hr subway means you don't need a car/insurance/gas/wash bill. I pay $65 for nails/toes/wax in DC, it's $27 here. A black girl can get her hair done right-right at the Dominicans for $16, as opposed to $60+ elsewhere. My barber cut here is $11. In DC the exact same cut, is $25.

most of the people i know rent a one-bedroom for $1200- $1400, maybe $1500 uptown. (granted I know no one who lives in Manhattan-proper.) those stats about avg rents and such are mostly because insane Manhattan prices through the average way up. My friends in DC who make about the same as me, live about the same except they have cars.

Anytime my friends and I think about the prices of other places (for instance, a bestie in ATL OWNS a condo in a luxury building with a balcony and a sunken Jacuzzi bathtub and two parking spaces. She pays in mortgage (no down payment) what I pay in rent) we joke about moving. But the catch is that, you get all that.... and then you wake up in [insert some place that doesn't compare to NYC to us here.]

lifestyle is way less about what you make, than how you spend/save/budget

It seems like all the born-and-raised NYers are leaving to go elsewhere, while all the non-NYers are itching to come here. My question is .... Belle, would you settle here in NY... as in would you raise your kids and have a family in NY (if you wanted to get married)? And that question is for everyone as well.

>>>Belle, would you settle here in NY... as in would you raise your kids and have a family in NY (if you wanted to get married)? <<

i had this conversation last week.

depends on how much WE earn. if we make enough to keep the kiddies in a suburban like bubble— totally possible—  I would. (I'd love for the kids to soak up the culture.) I like the way protected city-kids think. Edgy enough that you know they're urban, but still bright-eyed. If I think there's a chance at having a tough-innocent, I would.

In Black in America 2, there's a speaker__ can't remember who— who talks about how at school, his daughter was assigned to learn about the four seasons. for homework, she was to talk to her parents about the topic. so the kid gets home, and starts to explain, "when you pull up in the car, the man comes to open your door and take your bags..."

I always thought it'd be great to have a kid who thought like that because she was so exposed to so much. I guess you can get that anywhere, but I always thought it'd be nice to infuse my kid with as much culture as possible. I don't know anywhere else you can get it daily except NYC or London.

If i didn't raise a kid here, I would have to live in or in the immediate suburb of an East Coast city to keep my sanity. that or Chicago (which I adore).

@Belle

I co-sign the savings you get by not needing a car, the inexpensive salon and nail visits, and the possibilty of having a place all to yourself for $1500.
I also emphatically agree with this statement: But the catch is that, you get all that.... and then you wake up in [insert some place that doesn't compare to NYC to us here.]

Ok now tell me your stance on this and I good for the rest of the day.

A rent payment is not an investment.
1500 a month = 18k a year that you'll never get back.
Meanwhile your friend will own her luxe condo in 30 years or less, gain equity and be able to write the home off on her taxes annually.
Her net-worth will be a lot higher in the long run.
Meanwhile the avg NYer is renting and paying more each year unless there is a rent control in place. With a plan like that their retirement plan better be airtight and their job better be secure as a bond because that rent will remain in place no matter what. Buying in NYC is not an option for a non-millionaire although they have renovated some former projects in BK for those that are interested ;)
And then...what if you decide to have children?
Sure you can raise them in NYC and all that jazz but what are you leaving them besides your rent-controlled apartment? Where's the legacy and inheritance? When you saw your friends' parents living in apts....that was the norm not the exception. And you may not be able to even do that anymore because as someone mentioned genetrification has set in and the face of Harlem is changing.
Buildings are being renovated and torn down to make room for new million dollar condos and student housing.
People are getting pushed to BX. I was born in BX and it's not bad but there's no luxury there. My building is the same as it was when I was born. And Tribeca is being eyed as the new prime location so that's next on the chopping block once the economy recovers.

All in all living in NYC is exciting and wonderous but it will get to a point where if your not making X amount of dollars or marrying someone who does then you'll truly be Hustling Backwards. Then you have to move somewhere else and begin anew on a modified salary.
Personally, I wouldn't advise living there past 35 unless a person is making BANK or next in line for partner at a law firm.
I just don't see how it's wise to live in NYC with deluded ideas of prosperity and a net worth of zero, if it can at all be helped.

@Lisa - I'm moving because I'm interested in having a family. I'm originally from the south and just can't envision raising children here. Like Belle, I'd like my kids to be cultured and well-rounded, and I think you can do that outside of New York. You can raise kids in New York, too, but the cost of keeping them protected and educated gets expensive.

@EQ

well, the goal is not to rent forever. i don't know anyone who's not actively saving to BUY property. i totally disagree about the you have to be a millionaire to buy--- i know lots of people that own, and on their own too. they are not millionaires.

you can leave a kid a legacy and more than an apt and some degrees (cue kanye) even in NYC. you just have to be sensible, strategic and save. that goes for anywhere you live. and white folks ain't the only people buying in this gentrification boom. don't get it twisted.

i don't know anything about BX. and little to nothing about Harlem (all the Harlem friends come to BK every weekend) Tribeca is being eyed? huh? Tribeca is. It was prime when I got here in 2000.

it's hustling backwards if all you care about is money— not the culture, not the opportunities, not the diversity, not the vibe of the city, not the nightlife, not being at the center of the universe. money is your bottomline, because your whole post is about prosperity and net worth. And that's cool, FOR YOU. I wouldn't advise anyone who just wants to stack, stack, stack and wants to buy a place in their 20s (although I know a few people who did) to move here. I would argue that neither net worth or prosperity is worth all that much when you are miserable somewhere else, or if you're doing something that doesn't inspire you just for the check.

if you love ATL, love it, boo. but you don't have to shit on your hometown just b/c you decided to leave it. ATL can still be great to you without you thinking NYC sucks. And NYC can still be great to other people, even those over 35, even though it, like their outlook, don't hold the same value to you.

you talk about beginning anew is the worst thing in the world. people do it everyday. and they are fine. there's more to life than he who dies with the most toys wins. and there's a long distance between wealthy and broke. (which I think Black people, in general, don't realize.)

we will never agree on what's worth it because our values are not the same. Maybe I'm a dreamer. But I've stuck it out here long enough to see some of them come true. Maybe a few more will too. There's no price tag I can put on that.