There’s More to Boobs Than Meets the Eye

photoSee those boobs above? They belong to video model Esther Baxter and Katy Perry, who is on the most recent GQ.

Baxter has appeared in multiple videos and landed the cover of King magazine because many men (and women) find her boobs to be aesthetically pleasing. Perry is, well, an international pop star, as known for her boobs as she is for her music.

Many people find both sets of boobs nice to look at. But that is not their primary function of boobs. It seems people should know this. So a quick refresher:

The primary purpose of breasts is to feed babies. That some find those same breasts alluring does not negate the primary purpose of breasts.

So why am I telling you this?

Because there’s a story on about a mom, Ashley Clawson,  who was shopping in Victoria’s Secret with her 4-month old son when the child became hungry. She asked a saleswoman if she could breastfeed in a changing room. The saleswoman told her to take it to the alley (?!) outside the store where no one would see her.

“You would think a place like Victoria’s Secret wouldn’t be offended by the presence of a partially exposed breast”, a woman wrote on my Facebook page. “Have they seen their own advertisements?!”

My first thought: Um. If you wouldn’t want to eat in an alley, why should a baby? You know those small people with an underdeveloped immune systems?

Clawson said she was “shocked”, humiliated and confused by the suggestion. “What are we, animals? Are [nursing women] that gross to you?” Clawson says she wondered.

So she reports the incident to Vicky’s HQ and gets an apology and a promise of a gift certificate for the store (which she still has not received) as if she would have any desire to shop there again after a salesclerk tried to send her into the alley to feed her baby like she was a hooker servicing a “John” at Hunt’s Point.

“See where the mother messed up was asking in the first damn place,” another commenter wrote. “I breastfed both my daughters WHILE WALKING in stores. And I did it with a look on my face that said, “Please. Try me. While I got this baby on my titty, hungry and whatnot.” This lady was being polite, I’m sure, when she asked if it was okay to use the dressing room to feed her kid, but really, asking permission to feed your kid is not necessary.”


I hope Clawson sues the entire hell out of  Vicky’s for discrimination and gets the kid’s college paid for and then some.

I don’t understand the anti- public breastfeeding logic. Is it cause a partial boob may be seen in that quick flash of a moment before or after it is covered by a nursing cloth? Is it really so hideous to see a breast? Do breasts pose a societal danger that, despite having them for more than twenty years, I am as yet unaware of?

As a society, we– or at least our doctors– have agreed that breast-feeding children is best for the health of the child. There are multiple national initiatives to get women to breastfeed more since the United States lags behind the rest of the world in doing so. These women hear a battle cry, take action and are met with: take your kid to the alley?!

Clawson actually ended up feeding her kid in the bathroom, which I find gross. I don’t eat in the bathroom. Do you? Then why should a baby?

What if there is no bathroom available? Or is as commonly the case with public bathrooms, it’s gross in there? Or if the mother rightfully finds it gross to feed her child where people release their bowels? Then what?

Is it really the most horrid occurrence in the world for a woman to park herself in safe and public place, or even a private place like a dressing room, and pop out a boob to feed her kid?

A lady on my Facebook page more or less said, “yes”.

“I have 11 week old twins. I do think people should be more open minded [about breast feeding] but I do not think women should force anyone to like it or witness it. Or change their company policy (if it was one)…  I do breast feed in public but I balance my time and places I visit to accommodate. Sometimes the first year of having a baby might mean you can’t go everywhere and or do everything the same.”


Should breast feeding mothers curb their outings to avoid public feedings as much as possible, so as to convenience others? Or  pump and bottle the milk to avoid flashing boobies? Should they just let the baby wail?

I have no “skin” in this game. I am not responsible for any babies, and don’t think I will ever will be. (I like kids, but raising people who can’t talk isn’t really my thing.) But as person with some basic compassion for small people– and one who can’t stand the sound of screaming kids— the discomfort of a hungry baby and the assault of their crying on my eardrums trumps any way your eyes might feel spotting a boob put to its primary function. And that’s especially if you’ve walked by the cover of a men’s magazine– like King of GQ–  and never given the over-exposure of breasts just for the titillating sake of doing so, any real thought.


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This Post Has 6 Comments

  1. It’s really a shame that we are comfortable with an exposed or partially exposed breast on a model but not one that a baby is feeding from. My only conclusion to the discomfort is that it’s the aspect of sucking that people are uncomfortable with because they immediately think of it as a sexual act. The purpose of breasts has totally been forgotten and instead of thinking of food, nourishment or survival it’s the image of sex. I say let the woman from VS eat in the alley or under a blanket or in the bathroom everyday for the rest of the year and see how she likes it.

  2. Chris says:

    This as of late has been a topic for non discussion. The way the person handled it was in poor taste and open Vicky up to a lawsuit, that quite frankly a gift card won’t fix. To dismiss the lady to the alley was in poor taste have some consideration. if she wasnt sure how to handle the matter she should have asked a coworker if it would be ok. . At my company we designated a room to allow lactating mothers without an office to express milk when necessary. I witnessed a woman on a crowded 2 train breast feeding her baby. Tit was out in the open, no receiving blanket or diaper covering just out, men were salivating lol. Well I say this to say that some women will pull out when they need to feed their child no matter what and some will be more discreet. In any scenario, there needs to be more discussion on the topic and how retail establishments should handle if the need arises and as a mom who bottle feed my babies, prepare a bottle or two when going out with baby.

  3. ym says:

    I worked for Victoria’s Secret several years ago. We were told that if a woman wanted to nurse we had to let them in the nurse in the dressing room. I don’t recall anyone asking to do so during the 8 months I worked there. However, a few women did take advantage of the dressing rooms to nurse. It was rare though. I think the company needs a firm policy regarding this and needs to educate their associates. It’s sad breastfeeding is seen as nasty. I think what the company doesn’t want is women entering the store ONLY to nurse.

  4. Bkfinneyj says:

    I have a 7 month old and breastfed him the first 6 months. For me it’s a matter of modesty. I used a nursing cover because I was uncomfortable exposing myself to strangers. Similarly, I’m a stranger to you and should not be privy to your boobs. That’s why they make nursing covers. But that’s just me. I’m old fashioned that way. I used to be a manager at Vicky’s though and to my knowledge denying use of the dressing room to breastfeed is not company policy. There is no policy on breastfeeding. The mom should have been granted the courtesy especially if she was a paying guest.

  5. You are sooooo right about people really not understanding why women have boobs. I think that, not a lot of women boob feed their kids so when you find someone that does. It seems kinda crazy. Never the less, its a hungry baby so the lady should have let the other lady use the dressing room. We all know what goes around comes around. This is a great post.

  6. AimeR921 says:

    My husband and I are trying to conceive, and I plan on breastfeeding our baby. Reading about people who are so “grossed out” by it is really upsetting! Why should a mother be made to feel uncomfortable simply because she is feeding her child in the most natural and healthy of ways. I don’t plan on scheduling my day around what places may or may not be put off by my breastfeeding. Such a double standard that the possibility of boob skin during breastfeeding would be offensive, but the covers you posted above are ok. Please. More Mommies need to stand strong and not budge, and certainly not feed their babies in bathrooms. That is disgusting.

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