Vibe Throws Shade, Few See Light
Wednesday, May 23, 2012 at 11:58AM 
Courtesy of VIBE magazine I’d seen the latest Vibe cover by the time my inbox, twitter feed, facebook and formspring were deluded yesterday with people sending it to me or asking, well, “Have you seen...?”
Yeah. I have.
People kept asking me if I was going to write about it, thinking I was going to go-off in 1000 or so words about Vibe losing their gotdamned mind. I figure there’s plenty of bloggers who stayed up late tough-typing to do just that. And if I was going to repeat what everyone else said…? Meh. I’d rather get some sleep.
But I’m still on Vegas time, three hours behind. And I’m in Maryland visiting my folks and the slow-crawl of suburbia is actually keeping me awake. So here goes… and no, it’s not what you’ll expect me to say. If I’m writing that, what’s the point?
I laughed when I saw the VIBE cover featuring Tamar Braxton, Kandi Buress, Evelyn Lozada, and Chrissy Lampkin all sporting f***-me heels and boobs pushed to gravity defying heights. It wasn’t the image, it was the coverline. “Meet Your New Role Models”— a declaration, not a inquiry— is everything. It’s graphic genius. Shade at it’s best. The problem is, I think that went over most people’s heads.
Magazine coverlines are the bread and butter. You can put Pulitzer-winning content inside, but if the cover sucks no one will ever know but subscribers because no one will pick it up on a newsstand and say, “hmm… what’s in here?” That’s the point of coverlines. Everyone judges books – magazines are called such in-house— by their covers. The right coverline with the right image is what compels newsstand buyers to make a Blink-like decision to pick up the mag and flip thru it (engagement) or to make a snap decision to buy it (cha-ching).
Editors obsess over coverlines for days. They gather everyone witty in the office to come up with catchy ways to describe the issue’s best stories. They make a long list of a million different ways of saying the same thing in the shortest, punch-packing way possible. Coverlines are carefully thought up by consensus, then narrowed down by the HNIC. Then he or she picks a few favorites, and has the overworked creative director slap them on the various images being considered for the cover.
The Editor in Chief gets all these versions of the cover and throws them up on a wall side by side by side (at least), then stares at them for hours, if not days, tweaking and re-tweaking until the words and image are perfect, or something like it. This isn’t rocket science, but it’s close.
I assure you that someone(s) thought long and hard about this seemingly blasphemous cover line that’s got everyone so riled up, and in the end said, “f*** yeah! Let’s do it!” and laughed wildly about the sh**-show that was to come, one that was undoubtedly courted and welcomed.
It’s no different than Time putting on the cover a near-four year old kid snacking on his mom’s boob, or Newsweek trying to one-up Time by declaring President Obama "The First Gay President" and giving him a rainbow halo. It’s just like this time last year when VIBE put a bare-chested, tat-covered, C-titty-cup having Rick Ross on the cover of the 2011 Sexy Issue and sat back and waited for the collective, “what the f---?!” that came like clockwork.
The cover line that’s ticked everyone off so is akin to a 6’4 guy calling one of those 5’2 testosterone filled, overly aggressive lil’ dudes “hey, Big Man” just for kicks. You’ve called him big, but no one thinks he is just cause you said it. You can call Evelyn and Chrissy and Tamar “hey, role models” and they might answer, but if you have any sense, you're in on the joke, or at least you should be. It’s the same as a drunk guy yelling at the emperor, “hey, I like your clothes!” And near everyone in the crowd laughs… at the emperor.
No one in the Vibe office (or the writer of the story) thinks three-fourths of the cover-ladies are role models (the one-fourth exception is obviously Kandi, who hustles e'ryday like rent is due in the morning). Read the actual cover story— available online — and you’ll find its hardly a fawning article that uplifts the Black villainesses of reality TV to Michelle Obama status. It’s a Q&A that gets in their ass a bit about the way they portray themselves on TV. The worst offenders— Chrissy and Ev— basically admit they’re messy.
“The initial reason I accepted this story is because after [the reality star] salaries went public I feared some young brown girls would see this as the sensible/easy route towards fruitful womanhood,” Bonsu Thompson, the writer of the story told me yesterday. “They all faced the questioning and even owned some of their bullsh**. There was accountability, some regret, some delusion and even some parental advisory. I'm cool with it. I just want 13YO Keisha to see the entire scope.
What makes this cover and its coverline so uncomfortable for so many people is that they know some girl somewhere saw it and didn’t get the sarcasm. There are those who watch reality TV and think, “this is ratchet, but the clothes are hot and what else is on?” And then there are those who think, with stars in their eyes, “I want to be like Evelyn [or Krissy]!” These are the people that understood Tami Logic when she explained that she didn’t steal Kesha’s purse, but was just holding it for safekeeping; who thought Ev made a lick of sense when she explained why she jumped up on a table like an untrained housepet to attack Jen. For all of us literate and sensible souls who watched that and thought, “huh?” we know there were people somewhere, who thought, HYFR.
That's the real problem. Those cover ladies might not be what we aspire to, but like it or not, they are looked up to and emulated by many someones somewhere out there. And not just for their clothes and accesories. Some unguided girl who has been “dragged up” (as Amanda Seale’s— formerly “Diva's”— mother puts it) a might see the coverline and not understand that VIBE is throwing enough shade to cover Dorian Corey’s wig crypt, but she will be picking up the magazine in droves and getting the whole story, which was Thompson and Vibe's entire point.
Reader Comments (9)
Thank you for nailing the intended hypocrisy of this cover. I was like wait whaaaaa when it was published and in the back of my mind I said, they have GOT to be joking.
So happy to see your perspective on this. Very nice read.
Thank you Belle for posting this. I have yet to read the VIBE article (I will because you convinced me to) because I am shunning all things Basketball Wives/Bad Girls Club ratchetness. Mainly because I am on twitter and see plenty of girls who do aspire to be like Evelyn and the like. I am still not convinced the intent of the article will reach it's target audience, because frankly I'm not sure the target will absorb the words as much as they will the fashion.
I saw the cover, read people's uproar, and shrugged it off. VIBE achieved exactly what they set out to do - sell magazines. People having mini heart attacks and epileptic seizures, going on four paragraph long status rants on Facebook. . . haven't even read the article. Did I? No, I knew it was some ridiculousness to begin with.
The funny thing is people keep complaining about Basketball Wives and those other reality shows yet, are the same ones watching. They get high ratings from someone. I don't watch Basketball wives, but I have watched Real Housewives of Atlanta and Kandi is a BUSINESS woman. "Hustles like rent is due" . . . haha at that line.
I'm one of those people who think everyone "should" get the under-lying messgae right away. I saw the VIBE cover and was like is this a trick question??? But after reading all the hoopla about the VIBE cover, I shuck my head, cause I KNOW the actual article is going to be welcomming. I am so curious to know how some of these ladies feel after seeing themselves act like a complete ass on national TV. Are they really like this in real life?? I just have so many questions, hopefully VIBE (BT) will satisfy my curiosity. There is always more then what's on the surface, always.
I'm perpetually amazed at the fact that we live in a society where adults would rather opine than be fully informed. The majority of the VIBE critics are opposed to the women of Reality TV for pretty much the same reasons: misconduct, poor representation.Yet most of these critics haven't praised VIBE for actually challenging the cover girls on their misconduct and poor representation! Why? Because most of the critics haven't read the article. They either read the intro or even worse the DEK and began waxing. Shit, some just read the cover line! I don't understand how people are so comfortable expressing what they think is a complete opinion off of incomplete info. It makes a person oxy moronic.
@Bezo,
My thing is tho, even if the article is challenging these women for their behavior, I doubt Ev and Krissy see it that way. They see it as them receiving yet another business opportunity for their buffoonish behavior. So in essence, VIBE is rewarding these women by telling them -- "yes, keep acting a fool. we'll give you a platform to address and apologize and even more publicity for your next event/show."
I read the article and none of them sounded remorseful. It was all a bunch of "Yes, but..." answers where they may have said their behavior at the time was wrong, but "that's just who they are." This cycle will never end thanks to magazines like Vibe who gives these women a platform.
All I have to say here is....SMH
I will forever "credit" VIBE for being the magazine that LITERALLY started the East vs. West rap war. All they (along w/ other media outlets) have tried to do is sell magazines. They really don't care how, they just don't want to go under. Vibe will always be there to give women like them platforms, even when the other magazines opt out. I agree w/ everything you said @LisaLisa. Who cares if grown adults are actually sensible to understand the cover lines, when there are young girls/kids out there who are (rightfully so) too immersed in their own naiveté to understand??
Message lost.
- CC