Ask Demetria: I Fought My Brother’s GF at Thanksgiving Dinner

On a scale of 1-10, how did your brawl measure up to The Color Purple’s Thanksgiving?

Well, this is a first.

A reader wrote in this morning about a brawl that broke out over Thanksgiving dinner:

Got in a physical fight at T’giving dinner with my brother’s girlfriend. I am getting married in 3 weeks and bro is threatening to drop out unless [the girlfriend and I] makeup. Family is with him. I hate this and her and that I am in this wretched situation. Should I just chalk it up and reconcile?

Um… I couldn’t focus. She was asking about whether she should reconcile, but something is off about this story, starting with what could bring grown women to blows at Thanksgiving dinner?  So I asked…

“What in Hova’s name was so important that you and your bro’s lady came to blows at Thanksgiving?”


She explained:

 [The girlfriend] is very rude and belligerent and started cursing around kids/elders. I told her to watch her language because of the folks present and she decided that I was the one. I told her she needs to act like a lady and walked away. She followed and put hands on me. And I showed her what they do…


Is it me? Or something is off here?

I responded:



Ok. So you tell me if I’m wrong, here. Family will usually rally around family and against an outsider, unless the family member is dead wrong. I can’t see an outsider woman, even if she’s the GF of the favorite son, cursing in front of granny and the grandbabies, then putting her hands on family at Thanksgiving dinner, and family going against family to side with the outsider. This version of events doesn’t even make sense.

But whatever. The questions was whether she should apologize to her bro’s GF so that he will participate in the upcoming wedding. To which I answered:

You gotta decide what’s more worth it to you: family peace or withholding and apology on principle.

And what I should have said that I didn’t:

If the whole family is siding against you over someone not family and they think you’re wrong about an event they witnessed, yeah, you’re probably very wrong. So just go on and apologize to keep the peace and your bro in the wedding.

Your thoughts? 

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This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Alex says:

    “And I showed her what they do…” Lol!

  2. Ladique says:

    Belle what time period do you live in? Lol now-a-days people use profanity in front right infront of the church & feel no shame girl! But to answer the girls question she should have jokingly asked her bro’s bf to not curse like “girl we gon have to get you some orbits for tht dirty mouth lol, we gon help you girlie lol” all while smiling while she’s saying it, rather than being so straight forward…it’s not wht u say it’s how u say it #LikeMommaSaid lol

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