AskFM UPDATE (Again): The (Almost) Complete #BCPills Saga


So birth control or nah?

‪‪This the latest update in the ongoing saga that AskFM and Twitter users have deemed, aptly, #BCPills.

A quick recap if this is your introduction to this year-plus long saga:

Guy is paying for BC pills for his lady, discovers she isn’t taking them. Confronts her. She’s four months pregnant. It all goes downhill from there.

You can read the first part of the story: HERE. (Get comfortable. It’s long.)



I haven’t heard from #BCPills in a long time. I was launching a book and planning a wedding, so that would easily explain it, I guess. I also haven’t had insomnia in a while and haven’t been up late, the time when we usually chatted on Twitter.

The last time he shared his life with me (aka us), he and his child’s mom had been in a physical altercation after she spit on him twice and he slapped her. He went to jail for a couple weeks for that one. When he got out, he told me his plan was to get full custody of his child for what I think should be obvious reasons to anyone whose followed this story.

Today, I received an email from his sister:

I’m writing you as a favor for my Big brother [redacted]. I’m not sure if you were aware that his court date was Monday.

Things didn’t go as we all would have liked them to. [Redacted] has to do 18 months. He has been charged with domestic violence, resisting arrest, threating/assaulting an officer and disorderly conduct or something like that, still not too sure.

He wants you to know he’s ok and to keep him in your prayers.

 I know my big brother. A lot of the stuff they charged him with is bogus.  He doesn’t bother anybody unless you bother him first. Come on now a black man threating the police? Yeah, right. Or how about him trying to throw his baby mama over the railing. Big lie! 

I don’t know what to say at this point, other than he, his family, and his daughter are in my prayers.






August 27, 2014

Also, before you dive in to the latest update, you should know (full disclosure): that I’ve stayed in touch with the guy in question over the last year. We follow each other on social media, and you might have seen us late-night chatting about absolutely everything and nothing over the last few months. I have insomnia and he’s up in the middle of the night feeding his daughter, so there we are.

I “know” him to be a nice guy, one that a few readers have inquired about (to date him) after watching our interactions. I’m very sad about the most recent turn this story has taken, and quite worried about him.

A few days ago, I realized I hadn’t heard from him in a while. When I’m on Twitter, we usually chat throughout the day. I wondered what he was up to in passing, then forgot about it. Yesterday, I got an explanation from the mother of his child:


I know i’m probably the last person you want to hear from and you might not think much of me or think I deserve [redacted], especially the way I stop taking my pills. But I promise I really do love him. I ain’t too good at asking for help, but I’m asking cause I might [have] just blew my last shot with him

I think this time he is not going to take me back I just need a little advice cause I’m going crazy and I don’t have nobody to talk to [a]bout this. I do love him.

I know I can get wild and go crazy but I’m working on my attitude for real, not just for us, but for our baby. The other week we got into and the lady next door call[ed] the police. They had already said if they come back somebody going to jail.

But I hid his key [because] he’s always trying walk off‬, not talk shit out. I can’t stand that and he know that and he still be doing that. So I pushed him and called him a f-k n—a. He push me too.  My push ain’t hurt him so he shouldn’t even [push] me back. I ain’t going to lie. When I get mad, I act the fool so I spit in his face and he slap me. When the police came back ‪they wasn’t trying to hear nothing by him and we both was going to jail. But he say he hit me and I did nothing so now he got to do an automatic 21 days for DV. He ain’t call me yet. I told his ma to tell him I put money on my phone and he aint call yet

Why in the world would he call you? No, really? YOU SPIT ON HIM!!!!!

And if I recall, this is the second time you’ve gone crazy, at least that I know of. Didn’t you scratch up his face or neck a few months ago?

So what you don’t get your way. So what you’re mad. So what you’re hurt. F-king deal!!! That doesn’t give you the right to spit, or push, or scratch up anyone.

You, ma’am need serious professional help. The father of your child, the man with the good job who pays for everything? He’s locked up over you acting a plumb fool AGAIN cause you can’t act like a civilized adult and want to put your hands on people. And even after all that wild sh- you did, he took the blame so your simple self wouldn’t go to jail and could stay with ether baby. Are you happy now?

You don’t need to be with anyone, certainly not him.

The child is a blessing, but it’s so unfortunate that he has that child with you. I’m sick of you creating constant drama and acting a fool and playing the “l’m a victim” and “but I love him”. From the time you got pregnant on purpose when you knew he didn’t want kids, you’ve been on a non-stop mission to ruin this man’s life. STOP IT. He had sense enough to leave you. LET HIM GO!!!!

You need help so you can stop hurting other people with your own hurt.

I’m disgusted by this whole saga.


I wasn’t the only one. Readers quickly responded to this update. This about sums up the sentiment:

‪Re ratchet spitter: Ratchet Nation at its (un) fineness…. O_o this has to be someone re-enacting something from a VH1 shows. Please tell me this isn’t real. The logic is ALL off.

I wish. These two have been writing in for a year.


And then she was back:

Ratchet? Sorry, hunty, far from it. Like I said, he was the first one to get in his feelings cause he know he was dead ass wrong for having my baby around the next chick. Let him catch some other n—a holding my baby he will be pissed off

Ma’am. YOU SPIT ON SOMEONE. Whether you are ratchet or not isn’t up for discussion.

If you’re looking for my approval, you won’t get it. I’m appalled by your REPEATED behavior.


If I got a problem he do too. Your lady talking to you, you don’t just cut her off talking, “miss [me] with the bullsh—“ and hollering [a]bout you ain’t in the mood to talk. All I ask him was one simple question, “is he and his friend fucking?” He the one got all raw raw and swole up and got a attitude

But you’re not ratchet?


‪But anyway, I am done with this. I don’t care if his ass don’t ever call, but I bet you he won’t have my baby around her or anybody else without child support telling him he can’t see [her]. Believe that. Have a good night

I say this with all due respect: you’re a bird. Like… I can’t even believe what I’m reading in your responses. Your logic is so far off from what’s sensible and normal and you don’t even know. You even feel justified in your shenanigans.

You spit on him. He’s locked up. And you think this is justifiable because he didn’t want to be with you. GROW UP, DAMMIT!!!!!

‪Ever since that b—h got out of the army, he been sh-tting on me for her. E very time she call, he jumping. She need a ride, he break his neck to give it. My starter been gone on my car for 2 months, he ain’t fix it yet. I’m the one that got his baby not her. And you play me to the right? You damn right Immatrip. How would you feel if your n—a and his ex slash best friend chilling all up at the park with your baby and her nephew? That shit will look suspect to you too. So hell yeah, I flip. Any woman will. Got this h- breathing all over [my baby]. So girl, bye. Miss me with all the “oh, I’m drama” sh-.  Whatever, girl. Bye

Your starter isn’t his responsibility. It’s YOUR responsibility. Even if it was, how’s it getting fixed now? He just got locked up for 3 weeks. His job is a wrap. With what money is paying for you or your kid?

You see the father of your child moving on, and I’m sure that hurts. You tried to trap him with a kid and he’s still not staying. That’s gotta hurt. But nothing about the way you’re responding to this is acceptable behavior. I don’t know what you’ve seen in life or why you think it is, but it absolutely is not.

You have his baby. You do know that “baby mama” doesn’t trump anyone right? Wife does. GF does. There’s a reason the title BM only refers to the relationship to the child and not the other adult. It holds very little weight.

Yeah, so no. I get why you’re mad. But in NO WAY WHATSOEVER does that justify stealing his keys so he can’t leave, or pushing him or spitting on him. YOU ARE DEAD WRONG. You don’t get to push people and dictate how they respond. And you don’t get to spit on anyone and say it’s wrong when you get hit.

Your child’s father is moving on. It hurts to be rejected. But from Day One with this kid you’ve bad decision after bad decision, from throwing out the BC Pills and tricking him with a baby to the time you were tagging him on FB to the other time when you scratched him up.

Ya’ll don’t need to be together. It’s best that he go. He needs someone else and you need anger management. NO ONE SANE is going to put up with your out of control sh-. And the next dude you try that spitting ish on might just Ray Rice you.

And I’m not looking for approval all I’m saying is he is in the wrong to bending over backwards for a chick that aint’ [his]  baby mama, then trying be raw raw on me. If that aint suspect… Aint you going to be mad too? Before she got back, it was all “let’s make this work for the baby”. Now it’s “f-k me” I see

Let’s make this work isn’t a commitment. He’s moving on. That’s no excuse for you to flip put. NONE. I’m baffled how you feel justified here. You are dead wrong.

‪I don’t know why you get all bitchy with me like it’s all my fault. As good as a read you are, I’mma show you saw where I said I’m not the one that called the police, the neighbors did, and where I said he push me too. So don’t try to play me off like I’m some ratchet chick cause that aint me at all‬”

YOU SPIT ON ANOTHER HUMAN BEING. That is the very definition of ratchet.

He pushed you AFTER you pushed him and after you hid his keys so he couldn’t leave. <<< that’s your version of events.

Should he have pushed you BACK? No. Everyone should keep their hands to themselves, including you. That said, you don’t get to put your hands on people, then dictate how they respond to you. You pushed and got pushed. You don’t want people touching you, don’t give them a PRIME REASON for doing it.

So you have no issues with this bitch trying to destroy my family? I see you like everybody else. You want to see me hurt. You want to break me down. You want to see me cry. But guess what? I’m strong. Yeah, I cried last night but I’m back up‬

Your constant victimization is killing me. It’s not everyone else causing problems, ITS YOU!!!

Explain why anyone should root for you right now. Like, really. EXPLAIN!!! You tricked him into getting you pregnant, you acted a plumb fool on social media while pregnant, you scratched up his face once before and now you’re hiding keys, pushing and spitting on folks. HELL NO!!! NO ONE with any sense is rooting for ya’ll to work.

And if you think he’s even considering a relationship with you after getting locked up over your silly shenanigans, you’re nuts. You did this to yourself, hon.

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This Post Has 4 Comments

  1. Stacy says:

    She is a prime example of what I call “lost in the sauce”. She doesn’t get it……and probably never will. We are all products of our environment. And her mental logic is a direct result of what/who she’s been around and seen her whole life. She is used to friends/family supporting her and lifting her up no matter what she says or does, right or wrong. And anyone who doesn’t is not a TRUE friend. When in reality a real friend will tell you when you’re out of line. Her behavior is classic ratchetness. She can’t even get past her emotions, recognize and accept when a man doesn’t want her or solve her conflicts using her words only….and has the nerve to believe that everyone would react in the same way. It’s because she’s never seen a healthy relationship before. Trying to help her understand her foolishness is like talking to a brick wall. She can’t comprehend. She’s too far gone. SMH.

  2. You’ve exhibited a profound amount of patience with this woman. My God, bless her heart.

  3. Ty says:

    Ok guys. Understandably this woman was completely wrong and the series of events that transpired were all due to her actions, but can we take a second and examine a few keys points. Firstly she’s young, her knowledge and maturity haven’t kicked in yet. By the way she speaks I can tell she’s from a generation full of broken homes where the children raise themselves. I know at 21 my mom would have whooped my butt if I moved in with a man, love or not; so how much structure could she possibly have been blessed with. Add to this her mom passed away. The main person who could have instilled the number of attributes she’s missing, plus many life lessons is no longer with her. I believe strongly that her last message was a cry for help. Whereas yes she is ratchet in some aspects, telling her so doesn’t help her because instead of receiving all the advice you provide afterwards she’s now only blinded by anger because she’s gone on the defensive for being called a negative name. At the end of the day, she’s a mother and a woman. Her actions have caused a lot of pain and grief but I’ll be the first to offer her my ear. Learn your audience before speak. People learn differently and she clearly needs a different approach. Let’s not be those crabs in a barrel we all love to point at whIle shaking our heads. Just my opinion.

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