“You’ve never held his dick while he pees?”
O_o << that’s the look they— straight woman, gay man— are giving me. It’s also the same one I’m giving them. CBW would make that face too- I just know it- if he were still standing here.
This whole conversation started when she asked me, “Hey, do you pee with the door open when CBW’s around?”
Yeah. Took some getting used to, but it’s a one bedroom apartment and though we don’t live together, he’s often by me. He’s gotta shave his head or shower or shave his face and there’s no sense interrupting his activity for number 1. And if we’re mid-convo and I have to go, I just go in the bathroom and carry on the conversation.
This is normal enough, I guess. An Esquire poll of men and women found 51% of respondents are fine with a partner urinating with the door open. The other 49 % are more or less horrified by the idea.
“I will add this,” I say. That’s when I disclose that I don’t care if he keeps the door open when he pees. I just don’t want to see the stream. “It’s like a waterfall of urine,” I explain.
They both go silent.
Her: hold up, you’ve never held a dick?
Me: I’m 34.
Her: no, I mean while he pees.
He insists that men love this. “It’s very sexy,” he says.
She says she likes the idea of feeling like she has a penis. Her holding it while he pees makes her feel powerful. “It soothes my penis envy,” she says with a laugh.
I’m practical. I ask her if it’s hard to aim it for the bowl. Then think, why wouldn’t it be? The bowl is pretty big. I’ve fallen in a couple of times in the middle of the night when someone didn’t put the seat down.
He laughs. She admits it’s not as easy as it looks. “You’d think it would be. The trick is to aim it like you’re aiming for the floor.”
He adds, again, “hmmm. It’s very sexy.” I don’t know if he’s remembering when it was done to him or when he did it to someone else.”
Him: “you must try it.”
I’m not gung-ho about the sexiness of it, but I think learning how to aim might be an amusing, albeit useless skill. Later that night, I recount this whole conversation to CBW, then ask if he wants to try this at “home” aka my place.
He says he can handle his own bodily functions, thankyouverymuch. He’s a Master of Aim as any grown ass man should be.
CBW: when did y’all talk about this? I was there the whole time ya’ll were together.
Me: while you were in the bathroom.