Demetria Lucas D'Oyley

Demetria Lucas D’Oyley

DEMETRIA LUCAS D’OYLEY is a politically incorrect writer who says the things so many people think, but can’t (or won’t) put into words. She has a penchant for pop culture commentary, and an all-consuming obsession with dating and relationships. Writing—and yapping—about her passions have transformed her from a random blogger who began typing because she couldn’t find a voice she identified with to an award-winning author, media personality, and professional problem solver.

Demetria launched ABelleinBrooklyn.com, in 2007 as “the hilarious misadventures of a single Southern woman living too far above the Mason Dixon.” In short, she couldn’t afford a therapist on her publishing salary, and needed someone to weigh in on whether the people she encountered on dates were crazy, or if she was actually the problem. The readers, much cheaper than therapy, voted for both. (Ouch!)

Demetria’s popular site garnered the attention of editors at Essence magazine and she was offered a job as the Relationships Editor. The position required her to search for fine men, photograph fine men, and write about fine, wealthy men. She excitedly said “yes”! Demetria was so enthusiastic about her work that Essence offered her a column, the appropriately titled “Dating Guide”.

In 2009, Demetria launched her “Cocktails with Belle” event series, a multi-city “meet and greet” to engage readers of her blog and column. The following year, she landed a  Washington Post profile where she was dubbed “the Black Carrie Bradshaw”, a moniker which stuck. She utilized the exposure to pitch a book-version of her blog to Simon & Schuster. A Belle in Brooklyn: The Go-to Guide for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life, an Essence Book Club selection, was published in 2011.

Screen Shot 2015-09-30 at 7.04.55 PMTo promote her book, Demetria added an online Q&A page for readers to ask additional questions about ABIB, but as it turned out, people had questions about relationship issues they needed help with. In 2011, Demetria enrolled in IPEC, the Harvard of life coaching schools, to help her readers solve their dating dilemmas and build healthier relationships with their partners and most importantly, themselves. She also gave up access to all those fine men when she quit her day job to launch Coached by Belle, a life coaching service where Demetria has since served hundreds of clients.

Since 2010, Demetria’s answered nearly 50,000 anonymous questions about dating and relationships that she’s received from readers on the “Ask Belle” page of her blog. The 250 most frequent topics comprised Demetria’s follow up advice book in 2014, “Don’t Waste Your Pretty: The Go-to Guide for Making Smarter Decisions in Life & Love”.

These days, Demetria is more active as a journalist, public speaker, pop culture pundit and dating expert, TV and event host, and social media maven than a blogger. She writes for many publications, including The New York Times, The Washington Post, CNN.com, The Guardian, ESSENCE, XO Jane and The Huffington Post. She is currently a twice-weekly columnist at TheRoot.com. Her blogging is reserved for recapping her favorite TV shows, Power and Being Mary Jane.

As a speaker, Demetria’s appeared at many universities, including Harvard, Princeton, Columbia, Georgetown, and New York University. She’s also a frequent panelist or moderator at festivals and conferences, including Essence Festival, SXSW, and BlogHer, where Demetria interviewed keynote speaker, actress Kerry Washington, on the main stage in 2014.

Demetria’s empowering approach to relationships has made her a sought-after expert on multiple television shows as well, including Good Morning America, The Today Show, and Nightline. As a pop culture commentator, she has made numerous appearances on CNN, HLN, and Arise TV as well as Access Hollywood. She’s also appeared on two seasons of the Bravo TV show, Blood, Sweat & Heels, which chronicled the lives of women living and working in New York City. Demetria was the sane one. This fall, Demetria also will host an upcoming Centric TV talk show where she interviews celebrities about womanhood and personal development.


Demetria accepts the Cafe Mocha Award.

Over the course of her career, Demetria has received numerous accolades. She’s been named one of “the Blogosphere’s Best” by Black Enterprise, selected among “30 Black Bloggers You Should Know” by The Root, and has been picked as one of Essence.com’s “40 Fierce & Fab Under 40”. In 2014, she received the Shirley Chisholm Women of Distinction Award from a local councilman, and an award from Cafe Mocha for “dominating the social media landscape as an author, blogger, columnist and life coach.” Additionally, both of her books have been nominated as “Best Self Help” book at the 2015, and 2011 African American Literary Awards, respectively. Her blog was awarded Best Personal Blog in the 2010 Black Weblog Awards.

Demetria’s proudest accomplishments are when she’s able to use her platform to benefit her community. In 2014, she partnered with OraQuick for a multi-city campaign to raise awareness about safe sex. She also appeared in a TV commercial encouraging her peers to get tested. She is currently one of 30 Brooklyn residents participating in the “One Brooklyn Community” campaign launched by Brooklyn Community Services to eradicate local poverty.

Demetria received her bachelor’s in English at the University of Maryland, College Park and then went on to earn a master’s degree in Journalism from New York University. She currently lives in Brooklyn, NY with her husband.


For press and interview inquiries contact: Demetria Lucas D’Oyley, abelleinbrooklyn@gmail.com

For appearances and speaking contact: Demetria Lucas D’Oyley, abelleinbrooklyn@gmail.com