RHOA’s Kandi & Mama Joyce Visit The View…. Nothing Gets Resolved
- 1 year ago
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I finally watched The View segment from yesterday featuring Kandi, Mama Joyce, and Todd—note the order there. I tuned in because I find this whole conflict fascinating. Usually this story plays out with a guy whose mom thinks her son is her man. Never seen it play out — at this level- this way and for so long.
The segment accomplished absolutely nothing for the conflict —we need Iyanla to fix this one— but I’m sure it brought in good ratings.
Two parts that stood out to me:
*Aunt Whoopi told Mama, “let [Kandi] make the mistake if she’s going to make the mistake… you can’t do this for her.” Mama didn’t have a chance to respond to that or it was edited it out. I would have checked the idea that my man is a” mistake”. But Kandi, as expected, didn’t speak up for herself or her relationship. Again.
*Mama Joyce has a man. Who knew?
Mama’s latest round of complaints is Todd is lazy because as a freelance producer, he took two months off in between jobs and used his savings to support himself. She’s also back to talking about her concern for Kandi’s daughter because when Todd appeared on WWHL, he didn’t mention Kandi’s daughter when he was talking about people affected by the family drama. Host Andy asked Todd what he thought about the accusations that Mama made about him and Kandi’s best friend, Carmon. Todd talked about how it affects Carmon’s son and didn’t mention Kandi’s daughter. I’m unclear on why Mama thought he should have brought up Kandi’s kiddo in this response.
If Todd was living on Kandi’s money during his break, I would get why Mama was concerned, but not at the level that she is. But he had SAVINGS and that is an indication of a responsible adult who prepares for a rainy day, and makes enough money to stash some away. Mama Joyce—and many from her generation— doesn’t get that one of the reasons you become a freelancer is so you can do things like not work sometimes, enjoy some life, and still be able to support yourself. Working as a producer, you move from show- to- show and HUSTLE for work. Sometimes there are gaps. This is the nature of his business. Todd said on The View that he recently started his own production company and landed a show. That’s not a lazy man. And even if he was lazy, like Aunt Whoopi said, that’s for Kandi to deal with. Not her Mom.
Let’s cut the crap. This isn’t about Todd’s work ethic, just like it’s not about the accusations of him cheating, just like it’s not about him not having Kandi-level money, just like it’s not about concern for Kandi’s child. Mama’s issue is she feels threatened and insecure by Kandi having another priority in her life, one that, when/if Kandi and Todd marry, is supposed to trump Mama’s reign in Kandi’s life. Mama wanting to be forever and always number one is how we got to the mess she’s been pulling.
From what’s been shown on the show- very important to note- this all started when Kandi wouldn’t let her mother move in the guest house. If it were Kandi and daughter only, Mom would be in there chilling. Todd’s also a priority in Kandi’s life and among other things, Kandi considered how Mama moving in would affect Todd, so she said, “no.” Mama is used to hearing “yes”.
Kandi has let this go on for far, far too long. She doesn’t seem to get that her silence isn’t respecting her mother, it’s disrespecting herself and her happiness. It will be tough to unravel this issue that both women have without the help of a therapist.
What makes this situation even harder is the mom is playing up a very real issue in front of the media, and let’s be clear, for attention. I’d like to think that Mama wouldn’t have tried to fight a woman 30+ years her junior in a bridal shop or left that crazy message on Carmon’s voicemail if cameras weren’t around. As someone who’s subjected their life to reality TV cameras, the lines between what’s real and what’s done for TV can make people quite difficult to read and navigate. And maybe that’s why Kandi’s not stepping up like so many want her to.
I adore Kandi, but the way this is playing out in front of the camera- important to note—it seems she’s enabling her mother and participating in her own downfall with the continued silence and by not drawing a line with her Mom. Todd’s already told Kandi that he isn’t sticking around if this drama continues. And he said it again on The View that everyone has a breaking point. Both of Todd’s statements should have been a wake-up call. *Rings Belle like Dap Dunlap*
Last thought about Kandi and her mama: what you won’t do while I’m holding the purse strings is disrespect me and mines continually, and in public. Her mama got some huevos like I’ve never seen.
Based on what you’ve seen on TV, how would you handle this situation if you were Kandi?
Yes. Yes. And… Yes.
1) Someone needs to buy Kandi a copy of The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner and have her speed read it. This “dance” she’s been doing with her mom long before the cameras ever began rolling is toxic.
2) Todd doesn’t seem to be a man who makes idle threats. How many more times is he going to have to say it on national television. He will not be made a b*tch by Mama Joyce. If you want a man without a backbone, you’re clearly hooked to the wrong one… Which leads me to:
3) Kandi, pass that man to me. There are vultures circling, girl. I’m all the way on the west coast and I can see them from here. You think the Hotlanta Hoochie Patrol ain’t plotting on you and your man? They are waiting for your silence to push him out the door where they can scoop him up. I have frequent flyer miles and a buddy pass. You keep playin round, I’m gonna check my shovel into oversized baggage and scoop him up my damn self when he walks out your door for good.
YAAAAAAS!!! Everything she said ^^^^
Couldn’t have said it better!
I totally agree- actually living in Atlanta I will tell you where half the men want each other. The woman are waiting for her to mess this up with her controlling momma. Believe me when I tell you when he go to a event or something I am SURE he is getting hit on with lines like my momma dont even live in Atlanta, or My mom has passed so you would not have that problem with me. I am telling the need for a straight, single educated black man in the A is real. Keep playing Kandi.
Great points! Sometimes us women say we want a good man but when he does come around reality sets in and will allow anything let him walk out the door.
Please people we are all being hustled. Kandi making her momma relevant. So Bravo offers her a spot next season. You watch. That girl isn’t stupid.
My mama would have been put in check long time…. No disrespect to her, but she knows better than to mingle in mine.
I agree with you. So tragic a mother acts like such a bully and also is disrespecting her daughter on national tv. I get that the shows dramatizes issues…but this is still going on. I love Kandi and feel she has a great loving heart….but her mom needs to be checked…at the very least privately. If it were me….there’s no way I’d let someone try to bully me..I’m a stubborn woman and I’d have a few talks along the line of….this better stop or we need to take time apart. At this point….I’d be avoiding her until she can respect me as an adult. She’d know why…I’d make it clear I’m not putting up with it anymore!!!!!
I missed the show, but I agree women are circling the wagon. A man will eventually figure his manhood is at risk and move on.
Life is not a reality show.
To be honest, my mom isn’t even like that at all. She’s always been the type to keep her advice to herself unless asked-or when she TRULY sees I need to hear something (you know mom advice isn’t alllways solicited). She’s always been very discerning and let me make my decisions because she trusts me and my judgement. Also, my mom has always been very secure within herself and allowed me to have my freedom (even as a child), with parental parameters of course. If my mom reacted the way Kandi’s mom reacted, I would definitely put my foot down respectfully and ask that she stay out of our relationship and respect my significant other. If she continued with her disrespect (which isn’t just to Todd in this case—Kandi’s mom also disrespects Kandi), I would limit the amount of time I spent with her. I don’t see myself cutting my mother off, but I also don’t see myself allowing the significant other I say I respect, honor, love and want to MARRY being constanty bullied (publicly!) by my mother. It’s time for Kandi to grow a backbone pertaining to her mother and to show some respect to a man she says she really wants to be with.
I agree with everything you mentioned above! I also would LOVE to see Iyanla fix this matter because there are deeper roots to this story!! Iyanla, this could be your starting episode on your new season that everyone will watch!!!!!!!
When I watched the clip I was instantly shocked to see that the 3 of them were on a major daytime talk show and the headline wasn’t a warm, reconciliation of sorts. I mean, we see the broken relationships on RHOA, so were they really taking this on the TV interview circuit? After watching, and cringing, I realized that these 3 really, really, really need family therapy. Like, they should be running there. I get that Kandi is loyal to her mother, but you have to draw clear lines. The situation is just a clusterfuck and I’m sure there is so much more beneath the surface, stuff only a therapist can help sort out… off camera!
I feel like everyone is watching and for the most part on the same page - - Kandi’s mom is freaking out and acting out like a bratty child over losing control and her perceived priority in Kandi’s life. Kandi needs to grow a backbone and set up boundaries with her mother. She’s enabling her mother’s behavior, disrespecting herself and her relationship with Todd, showing a poor example for her daughter by allowing the negativity to fester down and involve her… Todd, honestly, is the only one acting with some sense… still having his opinion and disagreeing with how things happen, but not checking Mama Joyce (which should be done).
What’s sad is that everyone DOES have a limit and I’m sure Todd is close to reaching his. Once you start letting someone know you’ll be out if things don’t change, you’re probably much closer than they think. It’ll be a shame to see Kandi allow her mother’s behavior to run a good man and healthy relationship out of her life.
What was also funny… when asked about her own relationship, Mama Joyce got all quiet and barely wanted to admit that Kandi stays out of her business. *sigh* all of this makes me SO appreciative and happy that my mother is my friend, but respects the boundaries I’ve set.
I absolutely agree. At this point, this is completely abusive behavior on her mothers part. When you can sit there and watch someone you “love” cry based on your actions and not show any remorse or regret, you are someone with deep rooted issues. What kind of mother can have comfort knowing you are creating havoc in your child’s life? I really feel sorry for Kandi that she is so weak in this situation. I truly do feel for Kandi and her daughter. At the hopeful end of this, I honestly hope she can save her relationship with Todd. Kandi deserves to have a good man, a healthy relationship, and a father for her child.
My momma would have been checked. At the end of the day, Mama Joyce is laying up with her man at night while it seems as if she wants Kandi to be single and lonely (no man in her bed). She truly needs to let go. Kandi is an adult and her business with HER man is her business because trust and believe, no one can tell me about mine, that’s for ME to handle. #LetThemLove
This whole situation made me sit down and have a chat with my momma. At first I sided with Kandi, I get it, I have a country momma and there are things that you don’t do. However, there is a line and Ms. Joyce has crossed it, my mom would never, ever, ever, ever do what she is doing (during our last conversation she has assured me of this).
Kandi needs to put her foot down, end of story!
You couldn’t be more right, Belle. This is more about the fact that Mama Joyce feels that she’s not número uno anymore in Kandi’s life than all the BS reasons she’s concocting about why Todd isn’t the one fore Kandi.
I’ve been in Kandi’s shoes and they are not comfy or pretty. My mother would never stoop so low as to act as uncouth as Mama Joyce has, but she did get out of order when my husband came into the pic and it was obvious that he wasn’t dating me for dating sake. My mom’s central argument was that he was older than I am and had been married before (no kids). It was the same story as Kandi’s in most ways — her place was being threatened and after 30 yrs as Mom & me against the world my mom’s ire was on high and she came up with many negative reasons why he wasn’t right for me. I passively let her stew too long and ignored too many negative comments in the 2 yrs we dated before getting engaged. When I got engaged, mom and I had a coming to Jesus where I told my mom that I was living my life for me, not her. Either get on the bandwagon or hop off; but know you’ll be alone there if you choose the latter. Not easy to say to the one person who has held you down thru it all, but it had to be done. Unlike Mama Joyce seems to be doing, my mother came around because she wants me to be happy, but also she knew I wasn’t putting up with her behavior. No one will ever replace my mother or our relationship but what I wasn’t going to do was be alone to keep her happy either. I’ve been happily married for almost 5 yrs and my mom and my husband couldn’t get along any better now. Bottom line the only person who can put this to rest is Kandi!!
Watching a grown man on national tv have to explain his financial and job situation while Kandi sat there silent, hurt my heart. The only person Todd should have ever had to have that conversation with was his fiancé, not her mother and definitely not the public. He will reach his breaking point…I hope Kandi wakes up before he does and she loses someone good.
We all know that Mama Joyce is WAY out of line and continues to be out of line because Kandi never told her her boundaries when this first started happening. As you noted, Belle, Mama Joyce is threatened because Todd has become a priority in Kandi’s life, which means her mother’s place, while still a priority based on the relationship, will be bumped down after Kandi’s husband. That’s why she (Mama Joyce) was so hard on A.J. (May he rest in peace).
And not only is Mama Joyce afraid of not being Priority #1; she knows that she is about to get cut off, or least receive less, from the Kandi money train. Let’s not forget that when Mama Joyce was house hunting, she never found anything good enough. But when Kandi and Todd bought their house, Mama Joyce moved into Kandi’s old house. She was so concerned about Carmon taking from Kandi, but it looks like Mama Joyce is trying to stay in her daughter’s pocket.
Yeah. I can’t understand why Kandi doesn’t just set a clear boundary regarding her relationship. Her mother will just have to get used to it. It isn’t like her mother is going anywhere, she would never put herself in a position to lose all that Kandi money. But Kandi’s tendency to hysterically defend her mother, even when she is offering to pay people to set Todd up (!) is a real problem.
She needs to woman up. If it were me, I’d just let my mother know that my relationship is off limits and then stick to that. If Kandi did that, and meant it, her mother would fall in line.
I agree with everything everyone has said on this post. Also lets not forget Mama Joyce has done this to Kandi in her previous relationship. I personally think heR mother is not happy with herself and needs attention. If she has a Man she needs another one because he clearly is not doinga ggood job by keeping heR happy. My mother would have more respect for me and my life than to make accusations like that. Kandi will eventually put heR foot down, once Todd leaves her.
Another book I’d recommend Kandi speed read is “Boundaries” by Cloud & Townsend. There’s a chapter in there about when family members resent you moving on in your life: moving away, getting a degree, getting married, etc, and try to give you the blues at every turn for it.
Culturally, we black folks often don’t let our kids attain adult status. We often misuse the Bible verse in Ephesians 6 about ‘children obey your parents”. The Bible also says in that same chapter of Ephesians “parents do not to exasperate your children”.
Sadly, if Mama Joyce won’t let up, Kandi and Todd won’t have peace unless they move out of Atlanta…like to LA or NYC.
I think that Kandi is too willing to please her mother. I believe that if she wants to marry Todd then she should do so. There were some things in my life that my mother has not approved of and forbid me to do, but I’m grown and I made my life decisions based on what I wanted. And in the end my mother was happy with the outcomes. Kandi is going to have to cut the strings and live her life.
Kandi has some kind of codependency issues with her mother! I remember she once said that all the women in her family are single and she alluded to the fact that they are independent! Given how this is playing out I’m wondering the reason why they are single! Her aunt jumped on the mother’s bandwagon and was lying too when she was trying to beat up Carmon! Their relationship is toxic and Kandi is happy to stay in that space because she believes at the end of the day it’s her mother and she has to respect her. She doesn’t understand that respect is a 2 way street! Your man is saying he doesn’t know how much longer he can take of this! Not because you are willing to tolerate a disrespectful relationship with your mother doesn’t mean that others will too! She will end up alone like the rest of the women in her family!
I completely agree with everything said. My mother and I have an extremely close relationship but when it comes to me and my relationships, lines are drawn. She may tell me her opinions on my man and I listen and understand, but if I’m not seeing what she sees, I continue on as normal. When the day comes that we break up for reasons similar to her concerns, I just say “well you told me so, i had to make the mistake for myself” and we move on.
But for Kandi to continuously allow her mother to come in and run the relationship based on made up stories and trying to put poor Carmon in the middle is ridiculous. She is to old for all of that drama. I feel most sorry for Todd. Kandis relationships will always be her, Joyce and the man….in that order. And thats so sad. Mama Joyce will ALWAYS find an issue in the men Kandi dates unless the man is a billionaire because at the end of the day, the woman just wants to make sure she is set, which she has pretty much insinuated several times.
I think on some level Kandi is afraid of losing her mom’s love. It seems as if her mother puts conditions on her relationship with Kandi and this condition is that she doesn’t approve of Todd so she’s trying to manipulate to get Kandi to do what she wants her to do. It’s sad to see Kandi so torn and hurt, but I think there’s fear behind her inability to truly check her mother. She seems more afraid of alienating her mother than Todd. Is she afraid her mother will never speak to her again? What kind of unconditional, loving mother/daughter relationship is that. I hope they can resolve it. She’s my favorite housewife. Bless them.
Kandi’s mom is worried about getting cut out of Kandi’s money too , betcha.
Kandi needs to grow a backbone when it comes to her mother. There is no way I’d let my mother or anyone else do or say the things that Joyce has done and said. Regardless of how she might feel about Todd, Kandi is a grown woman and needs to live her life. I truly feel that Joyce is concerned about herself and what position she’ll take in Kandi’s life if she does marry Todd. I think she is worried that she won’t get any of Kandi’s money anymore if she marries Todd.
I’m a mom of kids in their mid to lower 20″s. It’s hard to see them with the wrong person but you have to temper it when and how you give advice. First let me make it clear that Todd walked into the family with his eyes wide open. He worked on the show so he saw and heard all of the crazy. He saw how Joyce treated Kandi’s ex. Joyce is wrong be he didn’t walk into this blindly. One of the most important rules we tell women is men show you who they are. Don’t think you or any circumstances will change their behavior. The same can be said for Todd. I do think Kandi and her mom need to see a real professional off camera. I think the loss of Kandi’s brother has played a part in the hold they have over each other. It’s love there but plenty of guilt and fear. Kandi is the only living child and I think it’s created this crazy hold over her and fear for the mom. The issues are much deeper then I’ll just tell my momma off.
Kandi needs to realize if she continues letting her mother run her life and not speak up, she will lose everybody that is close to her. It seems her mother is just worrying about Kandi finance instead of her happiness!
Silence is a form of acceptance! Kandi has mastered the art of saying nothing, while making it seem like her “hands are tied”. There is a BIG difference between standing up for yourself, and disrespecting your mother. Somewhere along the way, it seems that Kandi has convinced herself that she can’t do one (stand up for herself) without doing the other (disrespecting her mother)..and that is a SAD misconception. Kandi will never really discover a true sense of self, until she finds the time, space, words, and strength to set a clear boundary for her mother. What’s even more sad is that Kandi may not even choose to stand up for herself in THIS situation until it is much too late. Kudos to Todd…he has put up with A LOT during their “pre-marriage” days.
The difficult part to Kandi and her mom’s relationship as you mentioned is, it’s been the way it is for far too long and to me, Kandi never stepped in the “grown woman” realm with her mom. Her mom treats her like a little girl leaving all thoughts of respect out of the equation. I don’t know if Kandi knows “how” to gain her mothers respect. When I see her with her mom, she’s like a scared little child. The unfortunate part about most relationships like this is, Kandi would have to semi-cross the line of disrespect in order to get her mother to respect her (I honestly don’t see it any other way). Mama Joyce doesn’t seem like the type who would let a therapist or anyone else (including Kandi) tell her how to deal with Kandi; she (mama) has that whole shebang in check. It’s sad, but Kandi is going to have to decide what’s more important to her: her mom controlling her personal life or her taking the reigns on her life whether mama joins the ride (respectfully) or not.
If it were me at this point, I’d cut my mother off. I think Mama Joyce needs that. If Todd didn’t work out or it turns out he was after the money so be it. Lesson learned. I just won’t have my mother ruin my life. Mama Joyce doesn’t care for no man in her daughter’s life. Kandii has to be hardbody with her. Let Mama Joyce know that if she can’t accept Todd then ties have to cut completely!
I so hurt for Kandi! I love her too, but this mess with her mom is soooo ridiculous. If this is what she has had to deal with no wonder she hasn’t been married before or even kept a man for more than a sec. Even when she joined the show, he was deep in mama drama with her man. I agree that Kandi needs therapy, both Todd and Carmon have suggested it and she really needs to heed it.
She can’t see the hole or corner her mother has put her in. I’m from the South too and I know the respect that you give your parents, but Kandi is a grown woman and she needs to understand that SHE is the one who can put a stop to this. She doesn’t have to disrespect her mom or loud talk her, but she will have to decide on a course of action, tell her mom what will be and STICK TO IT! That is the way you create respect for yourself and ALL adults have to do this at some point when we least expect it.
I am pulling for Kandi to get it right and do what she needs to do, or suffer the consequences of doing nothing!
Did anyone note that Mama Joyce’s concern that that if Kandi died she was afraid that Todd would put her out of her house? Mama Joyce is well taken care of by Kandi (as she should be) but she really needs to stop interfering in her daughter’s relationships. Remember A.J.? Mama Joyce busted up that relationship and he passed away shortly after? Mama Joyce is always talking about men’s money(or her perceived lack of) but Kandi doesn’t date broke men!! They may not have as much to offer but they’re not starving. Mama Joyce is gonna run Todd off, too. She loves her daughter but she can’t keep her warm at night!!!
What I don’t get is why Kandi acts like every bit the battered child. She excuses her mother’s bad behavior and constantly defends her. Mama won’t be happy until she’s the only voice in Kandi’s ear.
Kandi is really at a crossroads. Does she woman up and insist that her mother back off or does she fold. It’s a tough decision, but one she must now face head on.
Some 15-20 years ago my mother tried dictating terms of my friendships and relationships. I was a young 20-something but I was having NO PARTS of that mess. I let her know in no uncertain terms that I was a woman and would be treated as such. She didn’t have to agree with my decisions but her opinion was only welcomed when I asked for it. Most of the time I don’t! If she can’t be respectful of my man, children and choices she doesn’t have to see us. Period.
She took the hint and fell in line.
Mama needs to be kept busy. Has anyone thought about spending more time finding a man for her than arguing with her about Todd?
I agree with majority of the postings on this Khandi/Moma Joyce fiasco, …..but Ladies, Ladies, Ladies! Lets keep it real! Kandi, (PHEONOMINAL BUSINESS WOMAN), keeps herself publicly relevant by having cameras play out her life on national television. Sure, Todd has repeatedly stated that he would walk away from the relationship if Moma Joyce continues with the disrespect, yet he still remains. C’mon now. Todd’s not going anywhere (as the publicity helps promote his business & offers more business opptys). As you all know, shows remains on the air, so long as their ratings are in the high numbers. This is PURE ENTERTAINMENT! After watching these three on THE VIEW, I was SHOCKED to hear Moma Joyce admit to having a man in her life. Where on earth is HE??? Why is HE not discussed or brought up on the show (Housewives of ATL)?? Simple! Moma Joyce & other cast members pick & choose what they will dish, from what they won’t.
Demetria couldn’t have said it any better! This is a call for 3 steps of “IYANLA!”
FIRST: A sit down with Moma Joyce to get to the root of why she feels the need to constantly metal & manipulate Khandi.
SECOND: A sit down with Khandi in why she continues to accept this sort of irrational, abusive, behavior from her mother.
THIRD: Sit down with both Moma Joyce & Khandi to work on resolutions for a healthier, non-manipulating, non-abusive, non-controlling way mom can have a relationship with Khandi and the man Khandi chooses to have in her life….(Todd). :-0)
Demetria, you hit the nail on the head. This is all about Mama Joyce no longer being #1. Kandi needs to grow a pair when dealing with her mother. Or else she’s going to be single for life.
What everyone continues to forget is this is the same thing Mama Joyce did when Kandi was dating and engaged to Ashley Jewell(RIP).
It makes me truly wonder, how many more men has she run off? As it has been said in the past; Mama Joyce is afraid her gravy train will be shut down if anyone gets to close to Kandi and gets inside her head.
She and her sisters actions toward Carmon said a lot about their character and the type of people they portray vs who they really are. Kandi has been taking care of all of them for nearly 20 years.
Mama Joyce made reference to the fact that she had her own money but it’s not Kandi Burruss money…so she rather enjoys that gravy train!
Smh, I don’t understand her taking this nonsense to this level and the blatant disrespect of not only Todd but her daughter Kandi and her granddaughter(who she keeps using as a pawn for actions).
I totally agree with you. Carmon had a right to look at her crazy. she needs someone to slap a wake up call on her behind. She is bitter, trifling and greedy. She is after Kandi’s money herself. Kandi doesn’t owe her diddly.
I agree with you. And did anyone ever pay attention to the scene where Joyce said, ‘What’ll happen if you (Kandi) choke on a chicken bone (dead) and Todd tells me I got to ‘git’ out?’ That immediately said to me that, hey, it ain’t so much that baby girl Kandi choked and died. Joyce was more concerned about what she imagined might happen after the funeral if Todd inherits the purse strings. That didn’t read as love to me; that said greed. And I question whether or not Joyce’s Pie Factory job actually paid for all those diamonds she was waving around on the Housewives Part 2 show. She was really playing for the camera, acting weird and really coming off as if Kandi was paying for nothing when everybody knows that she is, at the very least, living rent-free in Kandi’s previous, and quite beautiful, home with the swimming pool in the back. If I had any words of advice to Ms. Joyce, it would be to watch out where and how she waves around her jewelry ’cause folks’ll come to yo’ home and jack you fo’ yo’ stuff down here in the ATL FO’ REAL.
I find it very telling that Kandi could blow up with such ferocity at Cynthia for pointing a finger in her face but can’t even broach the subject of respecting boundaries with her mother. In my opinion, her overblown reaction at the party contained a lot of pent up frustration that had nothing to do with Cynthia.
Yes, yes, and say it again.. Her mother needs to sit her old behind down somewhere and leave those two to live their lives. The nerve of her controlling ass. This reminds me of that movie with morris chestnut and Taraji”Not easily broken”. She needs to put her foot down and put her mother in her place, and if it means shutting her out and putting her on time out. so be it. If TODD is who she wants, she better fight for him, or else it will be on to the next and the same script different cast. He shouldn’t have to put up with it. and don’t come to the wedding if so be it.
I think that this story line between Mama Joyce, Kandi, and Todd has run itself in the mud. Clearly Kandi is not going to step to her mother about the issues that she has with Todd and Mama Joyce is not going to back down about the issues that she had with Kandi. I was recently on another entertainment site that had a briefly discussed an interview that she had with Jet magazine and pretty much talked about the same information that she stated on The View. Kandi views were that her that mother had to make mistakes and that she should let her make mistakes. I am a huge fan of letting go and I always say that some fights are unbeatable (if that’s a word). In this case Mama Joyce can have her opinion about Todd and Todd can have his opinion about Mama Joyce. Instead of Kandi trying to fight and make things better she needs to begin to make changes in the ways that she interacts with her mother in order to establish boundaries about not talking negatively about Todd in front of her. There is clearly lack of respect and lack of boundaries in their relationship but Kandi is the first person that needs to make the changes.
Yes, it is very clear that Kandi is not going to establish those boundaries needed in order to keep her mom in check about her man and her life. What also amazes me involves Kandi’s aunts as well. When AJ was the issue, Joyce’s sisters and family told her over and over again that she should allow Kandi to live her own life; make her own decisions. Now, AJ had six kids and four baby mamas. Todd, on the other hand, has no outside kids, not even any ex-wives and Kandi’s aunts don’t want any parts of him. I don’t get it. I was almost on Joyce’s side that time because AJ ran some sort of club thing (I think) that could fail at any time thus leaving Kandi stuck to pay for everybody including the monthly child support for his kids. Todd, straight up, no issues even remotely like that and he can’t get a break. I do not get it.