“You Never Held It While He Pees?” — Her

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“You’ve never held his dick while he pees?”

O_o  << that’s the look they— straight woman, gay man— are giving me. It’s also the same one I’m giving them. CBW would make that face too– I just know it– if he were still standing here.

This whole conversation started when she asked me, “Hey, do you pee with the door open when CBW’s around?”

Yeah. Took some getting used to, but it’s a one bedroom apartment and though we don’t live together, he’s often by me. He’s gotta shave his head or shower or shave his face and there’s no sense interrupting his activity for number 1. And if we’re mid-convo and I have to go, I just go in the bathroom and carry on the conversation.

This is normal enough, I guess. An Esquire poll of men and women found 51% of respondents are fine with a partner urinating with the door open. The other 49 % are more or less horrified by the idea.

“I will add this,” I say. That’s when I disclose that I don’t care if he keeps the door open when he pees. I just don’t want to see the stream. “It’s like a waterfall of urine,” I explain.

They both go silent.

Her: hold up, you’ve never held a dick?

Me: I’m 34.

Her: no, I mean while he pees.

Me: O_o

He insists that men love this. “It’s very sexy,” he says.

She says she likes the idea of feeling like she has a penis. Her holding it while he pees makes her feel powerful. “It soothes my penis envy,” she says with a laugh.

I’m practical. I ask her if it’s hard to aim it for the bowl. Then think, why wouldn’t it be? The bowl is pretty big. I’ve fallen in a couple of times in the middle of the night when someone didn’t put the seat down.

He laughs. She admits it’s not as easy as it looks. “You’d think it would be. The trick is to aim it like you’re aiming for the floor.”

He adds, again, “hmmm. It’s very sexy.” I don’t know if he’s remembering when it was done to him or when he did it to someone else.”

Him: “you must try it.”

I’m not gung-ho about the sexiness of it, but I think learning how to aim might be an amusing, albeit useless skill. Later that night, I recount this whole conversation to CBW, then ask if he wants to try this at “home” aka my place.

Him: O_o

He says he can handle his own bodily functions, thankyouverymuch. He’s a Master of Aim as any grown ass man should be.

CBW: when did y’all talk about this? I was there the whole time ya’ll were together.

Me: while you were in the bathroom.

Fin.

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This Post Has 17 Comments

  1. Auchie23 says:

    Okay, so after reading this article I had to ask my husband his thoughts on this! I’ve never thought to do this but I’m definitely intrigue to try it.

  2. I have never done this myself to my man but very curious of what you thought in your mind of what he would say when you asked

  3. NaeK. says:

    CBW’s response is hilarious!! Makes me want to ask around about this umm “practice” and see how popular it really is LOL!! Love your random conversation posts.

  4. Jubilee says:

    Have I ever, (no) but would I (Absolutely), it’s mine! o_O.

  5. gherism says:

    This is hilarious!

  6. NolaPeachTee says:

    LOL!!!!!!!!! This is hilarious……and yes, I’ve tried it, and yes it was funny……also very erotic..

  7. Meandering says:

    Hubs says no one’s held him while he was peeing since he was a toddler. And it def wasn’t sexy because it was his mom. Would you want me to do it? Uh, nah, I got it. O__O, btw, you need to stay off the internet.

  8. Lorenzo says:

    I’m sorry, but I do not want to see my girl using the bathroom nor do I want her to see me use the bathroom. I just find that to be a bit much for my liking.

  9. Faidah says:

    No. Thank you. I’m down with being close but I want a man who is okay with going to the bathroom by himself.

  10. Vera Ezimora says:

    Wait. Not everyone does this? Interesting.

  11. […] the social medias, I came across this post by Ms. Lucas of A Belle in Brooklyn fame entitled, “You Never Held It While He Pees?” – Her which made me laugh because, well, I’ve had that happen before. A woman I was dating asked […]

  12. Ms.Shine18 says:

    I find this post to be very intriguing, I never thought twice about doing something like that. Now Im like should I, but knowing my boyfriend he would look at me like Im crazy.

  13. Lisa says:

    Ok, I must admit that I have done this (holding it while he peed) , we had a few cocktails that evening. However , having said that I can’t go in front of anyone. Sorry I consider that my personal time. : – ).

  14. Bkfinneyj says:

    I asked mine what he thought and he gave me the biggest screw face like I was completely crazy. LOL!

  15. Sexy is in the eyes of the beholder! Let me start with that! LoL But, as “off the wall” as this concept sounds….I can’t wait to ask My Guy about his views on this one tonight! This is one of those Face-To-Face conversations for sure!!! :-)

  16. That Girl says:

    Once upon a time a million years ago I asked my dh about this. He’s fine with peeing while i’m in the bathroom, but holding it – um, no. I would do it but he’s TOTALLY not into it. As long as there is a discussion about it, fine.

    I once dated a guy who asked if he could jump in the shower while I was in the shower. Of course I said “sure”. Imagine my shock when he jumped in the shower with me and IMMEDIATELY began to pee! Hold up dude – you JUST walked past the toilet to get in here and PEE ON ME – without asking no less! No sir!

    He said that because we had just been intimate that the showering (and peeing) was an extension of that. I disagree. The VERY LEAST he could do was ask. But alas, we married other people. Clearly that relationship was not meant to be!

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